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it is seen that people are earning higher salaries which is good for country but some believe that their salaries must be reduced, discuss both views and give your opinion v.1

it is seen that people are earning higher salaries which is good for country but some believe that their salaries must be reduced, 1
Nowadays, many people are interested in travelling to other parts of the world. This trend is becoming alarmingly high when compared to the figures of people travelling in the past. This essay will discuss the possible reasons responsible for this first, and then examine the benefits of travelling. To begin, there are a number of reasons why people travel. Some people, most especially the youths travel as a form of entertainment and relaxation. Let us Use the case of honeymoon as an example, more and more newly wedded couples prefer to travel far away in order to enjoy their honeymoon phase. In addition, some people travel for educational purposes, so as to gain new knowledge and experience. To illustrate this, in recent times, a vast majority of students are now applying to study abroad both at undergraduate and postgraduate levels. As discussed above, travelling is beneficial to both the travellers and the economy as a whole. Undoubtedly, many travellers do enjoy the pleasure to see a new scenario. In fact, new ideas and cultures are part of the many things experienced by them. For example, at one time or the other, I believe we have all had a relative or friend who travelled and brought back useful souvenirs from their destinations. Furthermore, travelling adds benefits to the society, as travelling agencies gain from such tours, it keeps them in business, which in turn lowers the unemployment rate. These agencies in turn pay taxes to the government, hence the society also gains indirectly. In conclusion, this essay has enumerated the various reasons why people travel and the benefits therein for both travellers and the society at large.
Nowadays,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are interested
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travelling
to other parts of the world. This trend is becoming
alarmingly
high when compared to the figures of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travelling
in the past. This essay will discuss the possible reasons responsible for this
first
, and then examine the benefits of travelling.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
, there are a number of reasons why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travel
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, most
especially
the youths
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travel
as a form of entertainment and relaxation.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Let
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
us


This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Use
the case of honeymoon as an example, more and more
newly
wedded couples prefer to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travel
far away in order to enjoy their honeymoon phase.
In addition
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travel
for educational purposes,
'So as to' expresses purpose and is used in formal texts. Consider using "to"
so as to
gain new knowledge and experience. To illustrate this, in recent times, a vast majority of students are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
applying to study abroad both at undergraduate and postgraduate levels.

As discussed above,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travelling
is beneficial to both the
Possible spelling mistake found.
travellers
and the economy as a whole.
Undoubtedly
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
Possible spelling mistake found.
travellers
do enjoy the pleasure to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
a new scenario. In fact, new
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
and cultures are part of the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
things experienced by them.
For example
, at one time or the other, I believe we have all had a relative or friend who travelled and brought back useful souvenirs from their destinations.
Furthermore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travelling
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
adds
benefits to the society, as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travelling
agencies gain from such tours, it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keeps
them in business, which in turn lowers the unemployment rate. These agencies in turn pay taxes to the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
,
hence
the society
also
gains
indirectly
.

In conclusion
, this essay has enumerated the various reasons why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travel
and the benefits therein for both
Possible spelling mistake found.
travellers
and the society at large.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
The limits of my language are the limits of my world.
Ludwig Wittgenstein

IELTS essay it is seen that people are earning higher salaries which is good for country but some believe that their salaries must be reduced, 1

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
276 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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