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In recent years some countries have experienced very rapid economic development. This has resulted in much higher standards of living in urban areas but not in the country sides. This situation may bring some problems for the country as a whole. What are these problems? How might they be reduced? v.3

In recent years some countries have experienced very rapid economic development. This has resulted in much higher standards of living in urban areas but not in the country sides. This situation may bring some problems for the country as a whole. What are these problems? How might they be reduced? v. 3
Over the past few years, a number of countries have enormously raised their economic status. Consequently, this has made the living standards of urban areas higher than the rural areas, which could bring some serious problems in the future for such countries. First of all, it is a deniable fact that due to higher opportunities in studies as well as in employments, a large number of people from rural areas move to big cities. This phenomenon results in overpopulation and automatically makes the accommodations expensive. Another noticeable problem is the social gap between the urban areas and the rural areas. The rich are becoming richer and the poor are becoming poorer. This could lead to growing number of crime as villagers want an equal level of living standards as that of urban citizens. Again, putting emphasis on developing urban areas is not a prudent idea by the government. In many developing countries, rural areas are still the base and root for the overall economy of the country while cities are getting the benefits of the modern development. This is an uneven distribution and would bring many negative effects. In the long run, the economic development would hamper since the rural people are deprived of the advancement. Numerous methods can be taken by governments of these countries to overcome these problems. At first, all the basic needs such as hospitals, schools, universities, factories, banks and companies should be built in rural areas as well and their standards should be equal to as that of urban areas. Due to this, the people will have fewer reasons to leave their hometowns and migrate to cities. At second, there will be less competition in every field, so higher opportunities of employments and studies will be available. Hence, in conclusion, although there are several problematic issues related to the economic development in cities, but in my view, the government can and must solve these problems as early as possible before they become unsolvable.
Over the past few years, a number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
have
enormously
raised their economic status.
Consequently
, this has made the living standards of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
urban
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
higher than the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
, which could bring
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
serious
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
in the future for such countries.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, it is a deniable fact that due to higher opportunities in studies
as well
as in employments,
Specify a number, remove phrase, or simply use "many" or "numerous"
a large number of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
. This phenomenon results in overpopulation and
automatically
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
the accommodations expensive. Another noticeable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
is the social gap between the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
urban
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
. The rich are becoming richer and the poor are becoming poorer. This could lead to growing number of crime as villagers want an equal level of living standards as that of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
urban
citizens.

Again, putting emphasis on developing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
urban
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
is not a prudent
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
by the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
. In
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
developing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
are
still
the base and root for the
overall
economy of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
while
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
are getting the benefits of the modern development. This is an uneven distribution and would bring
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
effects. In the long run, the economic development would hamper since the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rural
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are deprived
of the advancement.

Numerous methods can
be taken
by
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
of these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
to overcome these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
. At
first
, all the basic needs such as hospitals, schools, universities, factories, banks and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
should
be built
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
as well
and their standards should be equal to as that of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
urban
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
. Due to this, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
will have fewer reasons to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
their hometowns and migrate to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
. At second, there will be less competition in every field,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
higher opportunities of employments and studies will be available.

Hence
,
in conclusion
, although there are several problematic issues related to the economic development in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
in my view, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
can and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
solve these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
as early as possible
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
they become unsolvable.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
32Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS essay In recent years some countries have experienced very rapid economic development. This has resulted in much higher standards of living in urban areas but not in the country sides. This situation may bring some problems for the country as a whole. What are these problems? How might they be reduced? v. 3

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
328 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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