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Healthcare should always be funded by governments, and it should always be free for peopleto use. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this idea? v.2

Healthcare should always be funded by governments, and it should always be free for peopleto use. with this idea? v. 2
Few topics are more important than a nation’s healthcare, and the issue of payment will probably always be controversial. It seems to me that the sheer cost of universal, free healthcare makes this an impractical aspiration, no matter how much we might admire the idea. The main obstacle would appear to be the number of recipients of healthcare compared to the taxpayers are who need to fund it. Especially in countries with ageing populations such as Europe, the tax burden on workers becomes intolerably high, and can eventually stifle economic growth. These painful lessons, shown by states such as France, seem to demonstrate that completely free healthcare is economically unsustainable. A further issue relates to the cost of modern medicines, which can be extremely high if the latest drugs are used by health providers. This means that the cost of providing treatment rises almost without limits, making the permanent supply of free treatments unaffordable. One final point against this proposal is the added issue of globalisation, by which people move increasingly freely between countries. If this means the taxpayers of one nation are now obliged to fund the healthcare of users from many other nations, this is surely a further significant factor which clearly makes a universal health service impractical. Admittedly, I agree with those who argue that free a health service is a worthy ambition for a country to have, and that we should all contribute something to the welfare of our fellow citizens. However, this aspiration suffers significantly when confronted with financial reality. To summarise, it seems reasonable for the state to fund as much as possible of the nation’s healthcare. However, due to demographics and costs, this needs to be supplemented by other methods, such as private insurance.
Few topics are more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
than a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nation’s
healthcare, and the issue of payment will
probably


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always
be controversial. It seems to me that the sheer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cost
of universal,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
free
healthcare
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
this an
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
impractical


This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
aspiration
, no matter how much we might admire the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
.

The main obstacle would appear to be the number of recipients of healthcare compared to the

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
taxpayers
are who need to fund it.
Especially
in countries with
Possible spelling mistake. 'ageing' is British English.
ageing
populations such as Europe, the
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
tax


This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
burden
on workers becomes
intolerably
high, and can
eventually
stifle economic growth. These painful lessons,

shown by states such as France, seem to demonstrate that completely
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
free
healthcare is
economically


This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
unsustainable
. A
further
issue relates to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cost
of modern medicines, which can be
extremely
high if the
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
latest


This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
drugs
are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
by health providers. This means that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cost
of providing treatment rises almost
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
without


This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
limits
, making the permanent supply of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
free
treatments unaffordable. One final point against this proposal
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
is


This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
added
issue of
Possible spelling mistake. 'globalisation' is British English.
globalisation
, by which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
increasingly
freely
between countries. If this means
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
the


taxpayers of one
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nation
are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
obliged to fund the healthcare of users from
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
, this is
surely


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a
further
significant factor which
clearly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
a universal health service impractical.

Admittedly
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with those who argue that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
free
a health service is a worthy ambition for a country

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to
have, and that we should all contribute something to the welfare of our fellow citizens.
However
, this

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
aspiration
suffers
significantly
when confronted with financial reality.

To
Possible spelling mistake. 'summarise' is British English.
summarise
, it seems reasonable for the state to fund as much as possible of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nation’s
healthcare.

However
, due to demographics and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
costs
, this needs to
be supplemented
by other methods, such as private

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
insurance
.
2Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
12Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
21Mistakes

IELTS essay Healthcare should always be funded by governments, and it should always be free for peopleto use. with this idea? v. 2

Essay
  American English
19 paragraphs
291 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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