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It is said that teacher will be replaced by the computer in the future. Do you agree or disagree? v.1

It is said that teacher will be replaced by the computer in the future. v. 1
Lifestyle has undergone a dramatic change over a couple of decades. Presently, smart classes play a paramount role to uplift the standard of education. It is argued that computer will erase the teacher in upcoming years. Here, i would like to accord with the given statement. There are manifold points to support my point of view. First and foremost, computer consumes less amount of time to provide information to the students. to give a specific example, it can show more information in just a second which is related to various subjects such as physics, chemistry, mathematics and so on. Apart from it, it has various softwares that provide accurate information to pupils. As a result, people will be influenced by computer, automatically teacher will be erased by it in next century. Further emphasizing on my point of view. Firstly, it enables people to get knowledge easily. For example, it provides various languages like Hindi, English and Russian which helps the student to understand the word, sentence in any module. Thence, they could enrich their grasping power and become agile in their life. On the contrary, others have conflicting views. They think that pupils must be taught by teachers. In addition to this, teachers may make them understand correctly. To justify, students can make good understanding with teacher to apprehend the question. They can not only get knowledge about study but also get lessons that is related their life. Hence, students could broaden the horizon of knowledge as it is said that knowledge is invaluable power. To recapitulate, undeniably teacher should teach the student to provide better education. However, i strongly believe that students must be taught computers to get accurate knowledge.
Lifestyle has undergone a dramatic
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
over a couple of decades.
Presently
, smart classes play a paramount role to

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
uplift
the standard of education. It
is argued
that computer will erase the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teacher
in upcoming years. Here,
Did you mean "I"?
i
would like to accord with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
statement.

There are manifold points to support my point of view.
First
and foremost, computer consumes less amount of time to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
provide
information to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
to
give a specific example, it can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
more information in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
a second which
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
is


This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
related
to various subjects such as physics, chemistry, mathematics and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on. Apart from it, it has various
Possible spelling mistake found.
softwares
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
provide
accurate information to pupils.
As a result
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
will
be influenced
by computer,
automatically
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teacher
will
be erased
by it in
next
century.

Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Further
emphasizing on my point of view.
Firstly
, it enables
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
easily
.
For example
, it
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
provides
various languages like Hindi, English and Russian which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
to understand the word, sentence in any module. Thence, they could enrich their grasping power and become agile in their life.
On the contrary
, others have conflicting views.

They
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that pupils
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be taught
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
.
In addition
to this,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
may
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
them understand
correctly
. To

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
justify
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
understanding with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teacher
to apprehend the question. They can not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
knowledge


This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
about
study
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
lessons that
is related
their life.
Hence
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
could broaden the horizon of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
as it
is said
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
is invaluable power.

To recapitulate,
undeniably
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teacher
should teach the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
provide
better education.
However
,
Is this the personal pronoun "I"? It is spelled uppercase.
i
strongly
believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be taught
computers to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
accurate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
.
12Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
20Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
11Mistakes

IELTS essay It is said that teacher will be replaced by the computer in the future. v. 1

Essay
  American English
9 paragraphs
281 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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