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It is said that "Not everything that is learned is contained in books" Compare and contrast knowledge gained from experience with knowledge gained from books. In your opinion, which is more important? why? v.2

It is said that "Not everything that is learned is contained in books" Compare and contrast knowledge gained from experience with knowledge gained from books. In your opinion, which is more important? why? v. 2
Some people believe books are not the only source of knowledge. They think people could obtain their knowledge of real life from experience which it is not always found in the books. In this essay, I would compare knowledge gained from the books and the experience. There are two understanding that we learn from the books. Firstly, books are the place that we acquire a knowledge of science. Mostly, encyclopedia and study books are the most used by people to do that. In addition, the are many new things that could be invented by people which have a lot of benefits to mankind. Secondly, information about the history of our country also we gain from the book. Therefore, people could imagine how the fight of the national heroes in defending their homeland. This could build their sense of nationality. However, there are two soft skills that could not be found in the books but people could obtain them from their experience. To begin with, communication skill could be improved if people do it directly. Usually, it would be feasible by involved in a social activity such as working on the project together in an organization. Moreover, it would help people to adapt to new environment easily. The next one is leadership skill. It also could be gained from the organization by leading projects. As a result, working becomes more effective due to people managing skill. All in all, I completely agree that the most important knowledge is from people experience. Because it could not be bought by money. But, books also the key for us to see the different parts of the world.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
are not the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
source of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
. They
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
could obtain their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
of real life from experience which it is not always found in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
. In this essay, I would compare
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
gained from the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
and the experience.

There are two understanding that we learn from the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
.
Firstly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
are the place that we acquire a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
of science.
Mostly
, encyclopedia and study
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
are the most
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to do that.
In addition
,
Did you mean "they are" or "there are"?
the are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
new things that could
be invented
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
which have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
benefits to mankind.
Secondly
, information about the history of our country
also
we gain from the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
book
.
Therefore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
could imagine how the fight of the national heroes in defending their homeland. This could build their sense of nationality.

However
, there are two soft
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
that could not
be found
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
could obtain them from their experience. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, communication
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skill
could be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improved
if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
do it
directly
.
Usually
, it would be feasible by involved in a social activity such as working on the project together in an organization.
Moreover
, it would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to adapt to new environment
easily
. The
next
one is leadership
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skill
. It
also
could
be gained
from the organization by leading projects.
As a result
, working becomes more effective due to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
managing
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skill
.

All in all, I completely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that the most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
is from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
experience.
“Because” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Because
it could not be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bought
by money.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
also
the key for us to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
parts of the world.
14Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
24Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes
Language comes first. It’s not that language grows out of consciousness, if you haven’t got language, you can’t be conscious.
Alan Moore

IELTS essay It is said that "Not everything that is learned is contained in books" Compare and contrast knowledge gained from experience with knowledge gained from books. In your opinion, which is more important? why? v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
273 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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