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It is said that, "Not everything that is learned is contained in books. 'Compare and contrast knowledge gained from experience with knowledge gained from books. In your opinion, which source is more important? Why? Give reasons for your answer and v.3

It is said that, "Not everything that is learned is contained in books. 'Compare and contrast knowledge gained from experience with knowledge gained from books. In your opinion, which source is more important? Why? 3
Nowadays, it is very common to travel or work during and after the educational period. Mostly people prefer to do such activities when they got 6 months or 12 months of free time. Although travel doesn't limit for rich people, the most common person is also travelling also travel as per their economic strength. There are always positive and negative sides of everything both views are discussed as follows. One of the biggest advantages is by travelling or working, people have become more active mentally and physically which ultimately helpful for them. During the work, people have lots of experience, whether it is good or bad, but they learn a lot, which will help them in future corporate sectors. On the other hand, while travelling; it is the most interesting way of learning by observation and the exposure of new cultures and people. For instance, one of my cousin brothers used to travel a lot because during the journey he has faced lots of difficulties and challenge self-limitations which makes him extend his own limitations, so ultimately he has developed or learned about himself after completion of the trip, so for him each journey reveals his new interpersonal skills. On the negative side, some people have become habitual for shorter trips just for fun or change of mind, although they don’t have enough financial strength and due to that, it becomes one of the root causes of problems in a family. Similarly, another adverse effect is, some students have worked after school and as they got a regular income so they do not prefer to complete their education and get the degree certificate. In conclusion, I firmly believe that young people should be encouraged to break their boundaries also they should aware of the importance of educational certificate in order to get better future opportunities.
Nowadays, it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
common to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travel
or work during and after the educational period.
Mostly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
prefer to do such activities when they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
6 months or 12 months of free time. Although
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travel
doesn't limit for rich
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, the most common person is
also
travelling
also
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travel
as per their economic strength. There are always
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
sides of everything both views
are discussed
as follows.

One of the biggest advantages is by travelling or working,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have become more active mentally and
physically
which
ultimately
helpful for them. During the work,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lots
of experience, whether it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
they learn a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lot
, which will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them in future corporate sectors.
On the other hand
, while travelling; it is the most interesting way of learning by observation and the exposure of new cultures and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.

For instance
, one of my cousin brothers
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travel
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lot
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
during the journey he has faced
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lots
of difficulties and challenge self-limitations which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
him extend his
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
limitations,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
ultimately
he has developed or learned about himself after completion of the trip,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
for him each journey reveals his new interpersonal
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
.

On the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
side,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have become habitual for shorter trips
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
for fun or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
of mind, although they don’t have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
financial strength and due to that, it becomes one of the root causes of problems in a family.
Similarly
, another adverse effect is,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
students have worked after school and as they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
a regular income
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they do not prefer to complete their education and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
the degree certificate.

In conclusion
, I
firmly
believe that young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should
be encouraged
to break their boundaries
also
they
It seems that a verb or adverb has been misspelled or is missing here.
should aware
of the importance of educational certificate in order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
better future opportunities.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay It is said that, "Not everything that is learned is contained in books. 'Compare and contrast knowledge gained from experience with knowledge gained from books. In your opinion, which source is more important? Why? 3

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
305 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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