Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

It is quite common for both parents in a family to work. Sometimes this is because they need two salaries to survive whereas other times it is their choice. What are the problems you see in this situation? How does this affect the children and the family l v.7

It is quite common for both parents in a family to work. Sometimes this is because they need two salaries to survive whereas other times it is their choice. What are the problems you see in this situation? How does this affect the children and the family l v. 7
Throughout the history of mankind, it is true that most civilizations around the world started having the families which contained the work of both parents for lots of reasons with regard to the needed salaries to deal with the pace of life nowadays or it was just their personal reasons for choosing it. In my opinion, while I agree that it would take more moneys and benefits for family' s budget if both parents in a house go to work, but I still believe that it also get some negative effects into their children and the life of family. On the one hand, there are several reasons why it is quite common for both father and mother in a family to become a worker. The first reason to support it is that many capitals on Earth are increasing the economic, which get more opportunity for the poor and average families to get more works for the reason of taking enough money to survive. To illustrate, we can see from thousands of family in Hanoi at present, a city which have contained lots of family' s worker in both sides of sex, are enduring the increase of product' s price such as foods, drinks or clothes. Therefore, every family must have two workers to deal with these problems and spend more money for the survival of their son and home. Moreover, it also has some people who especially love working and want to make their personal childhood' s dream become the true. On the other hand, I believe that despite of all this positive effect, it also gets the negative things into their children when they were alone in home and did not get the love and the care of family. it stands to the reason that the children in this family would lose the emotion based on the love of father as well as mother and it would potentially make them to become a bad child. One particularly salient example for this is the article having been published by The New York Time Magazine indicating that people who did not have the care of their parents when they were a child are more potential to acknowledge the bad things of social life and 50% of them commit a crime. In a nutshell, it seems to me that although the mission of parents to spend money for family is greatly important, the care for their son and daughter could also value considerably.
Throughout the history of mankind, it is true that most civilizations around the world
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
having the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
which contained the work of both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
for lots of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reasons
with regard to the needed salaries to deal with the pace of life nowadays or it was
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
their personal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reasons
for choosing it. In my opinion, while I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that it would take more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
moneys
and benefits for
Possible spelling mistake found.
family&
#039; s budget if both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
in a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
go to work,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
I
still
believe that it
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
effects into their children and the life of family.

On the one hand, there are several
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reasons
why it is quite common for both father and mother in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
to become a worker. The
first
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reason
to support it is that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
capitals on Earth are increasing the economic, which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
more opportunity for the poor and average
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
more works for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reason
of taking
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
to survive. To illustrate, we can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
from thousands of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
in Hanoi at present, a city which have contained lots of
Possible spelling mistake found.
family&
#039; s worker in both sides of sex, are enduring the increase of
Possible spelling mistake found.
product&
#039; s price such as foods, drinks or clothes.
Therefore
, every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
have two workers to deal with these problems and spend more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
for the survival of their son and home.
Moreover
, it
also
has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who
especially
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
working and want to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
their personal
Possible spelling mistake found.
childhood&
#039; s dream become the true.

On the other hand
, I believe that
Did you mean "despite" (or, alternatively, 'in spite of')?
despite of
all this
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
effect, it
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
gets
the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
things into their children when they were alone in home and did not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
and the care of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
it
stands to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reason
that the children in this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
would lose the emotion based on the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
of father
as well
as mother and it would
potentially
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
them to become a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
child. One
particularly
salient example for this is the article having
been published
by The New York Time Magazine indicating that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who did not have the care of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
when they were a child are more potential to acknowledge the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
things of social life and 50% of them commit a crime.

In a nutshell, it seems to me that although the mission of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
to spend
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
is
greatly
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
, the care for their son and daughter could
also
value
considerably
.
13Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
24Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Mistakes

IELTS essay It is quite common for both parents in a family to work. Sometimes this is because they need two salaries to survive whereas other times it is their choice. What are the problems you see in this situation? How does this affect the children and the family l v. 7

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
411 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts