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It is often said that governments spend too much money on projects to protect wildlife, while there are other problems that are more important. Do you agree or disagree? v.7

It is often said that governments spend too much money on projects to protect wildlife, while there are other problems that are more important. v. 7
In the modern world, citizens argue about how to preserve nature. Some people believe that governmental funding for protecting habitats is a waste of money. They reckon to think that it is better to redirect the government expenses on natural heritage to other fields such as health care and education. However, there are some individuals who believe that it is essential for the next generation and present people to protect wild animals and plants. On the one hand, people should take action to protect wildlife because it is crucial for upcoming generations. In this regard, descendants have a right to observe and see all kinds of animals and plants, especially endangered animals. Due to some unconscious people, many types of animals and plants become extinct. For example, lions in Africa disappeared because of illegal hunting and logging activities of the local community. On the other hand, It is true that the factors which define economic growth are health care and education, and it is clear that some people are willing to improve these facilities. Because of the overfond for natural heritages, citizens are suffering from lack of adequate health care facilities and educational problems. For example, Brazilian people are struggling of food shortage. The authorities introduced a special law to protect Amazonia rainforest from deforestation process, and because of this law people cannot plant the seeds in this region. In conclusion, although many people tend to think that wild nature conservation is unnecessary for communities, personally, I believe that it is our responsibility to protect wildlife. In addition to this, many animals and plants need to be protected.
In the modern world, citizens argue about how to preserve nature.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that governmental funding for protecting habitats is a waste of money. They reckon to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that it is better to redirect the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
expenses on natural heritage to other fields such as health care and education.
However
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
individuals who believe that it is essential for the
next
generation and present
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
protect
wild
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
and plants.

On the one hand,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should take action to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
protect
wildlife
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it is crucial for upcoming generations. In this regard, descendants have a right to observe and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
all kinds of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
plants
,
especially
endangered
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
. Due to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
unconscious
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
types of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
plants
become extinct.
For example
, lions in Africa disappeared
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of illegal hunting and logging activities of the local community.

On the other hand
, It is true that the factors which define economic growth are health care and education, and it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are willing to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
these facilities.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
of the overfond for natural heritages, citizens are suffering from lack of adequate health care facilities and educational problems.
For example
, Brazilian
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are struggling of food shortage. The authorities introduced a special law to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
protect
Possible spelling mistake found.
Amazonia
rainforest from deforestation process, and
because of this
law
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
cannot
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
plant
the seeds in this region.

In conclusion
, although
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
tend to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that wild nature conservation is unnecessary for communities,
personally
, I believe that it is our responsibility to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
protect
wildlife.
In addition
to this,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
plants
need to
be protected
.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes
I love commuting between languages just like I love commuting between cultures and cities.
Elif Safak

IELTS essay It is often said that governments spend too much money on projects to protect wildlife, while there are other problems that are more important. v. 7

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
268 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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