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It is often said that governments spend too much money on projects to protect wildlife while there are other problems that are more important. Do you agree or disagree? v.10

It is often said that governments spend too much money on projects to protect wildlife while there are other problems that are more important. v. 10
Budget utilization by countries requires careful decisions. Although it is commonly stated that states utilized behemoth lot of wage to ensure the safety of wildlife other sectors are more crucial to look after. I partially agree with the statement, and in my opinion, governments should spend less number of salary on wild animal protections and more on other sectors such as health and education. Admittedly, there ought to be some basic tone of utilization of the bill for the survival and betterment of wildlife. Wild animal habitat protection and maintenance is beneficial, in terms of the flourishing of tourism. Which in turn means, the economic growth of a provincial, as tourist influx can lead significantly to more revenue generation. For example, the economic organization of Indonesia has revealed a report that, the homey has gained a 5 % increase in revenue, with the greatest wild living manifestation the agrarian possesses. Therefore, allocating a little supply of cost is advantageous up to some extent for a bucolic. However, the government should consider and utilize the major extent of cash on other critical areas such as education and health. Firstly, spending enormous measure of finance on learning zone is vitally important, as more literate number of people means the prosperity of a society. Which in turn means, high employment and working for the development of a rustic. Secondly, health part ought to be taken into consideration highly while utilizing wealth. This is because this area faces certain problems such as lack of proper medical equipment and different medicines, especially in underdeveloped countries. In Pakistan, for instance, the government is allocating 33% of the budget of the medical district, owing to the rising problems in it. Thus, pay should be spent in areas which are more vital by the state. In conclusion, people believe that countries spend more on unimportant zone like wildlife and other crucial areas are there which should not be neglected. In my view, states ought to allocate a minor volume of wild living part and a significant chunk of other essential areas like medicine and education.
Budget utilization by countries requires careful decisions. Although it is
commonly
stated that states utilized behemoth lot of wage to ensure the safety of wildlife
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
sectors are more crucial to look after. I
partially
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the statement, and in my opinion,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
should spend less number of salary on wild animal protections and more on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
sectors such as health and education.

Admittedly
, there ought to be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
basic tone of utilization of the bill for the survival and betterment of wildlife. Wild animal habitat protection and maintenance is beneficial, in terms of the flourishing of tourism. Which in turn means, the economic growth of a provincial, as tourist influx can lead
significantly
to more revenue generation.
For example
, the economic organization of Indonesia has revealed a report that, the homey has gained a 5 % increase in revenue, with the greatest wild living manifestation the agrarian possesses.
Therefore
, allocating a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
supply of cost is advantageous up to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
extent for a bucolic.

However
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should consider and utilize the major extent of cash on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
critical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
such as education and health.
Firstly
, spending enormous measure of finance on learning zone is
vitally
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
, as more literate number of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
means the prosperity of a society. Which in turn means, high employment and working for the development of a rustic.
Secondly
, health part ought to
be taken
into consideration
highly
while utilizing wealth. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
area
faces certain problems such as lack of proper medical equipment and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
medicines,
especially
in underdeveloped countries. In Pakistan,
for instance
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
is allocating 33% of the budget of the medical district, owing to the rising problems in it.
Thus
, pay should
be spent
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
which are more vital by the state.

In conclusion
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
believe that countries spend more on unimportant zone like wildlife and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
crucial
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
are there which should not
be neglected
. In my view, states ought to allocate a minor volume of wild living part and a significant chunk of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
essential
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
like medicine and education.
8.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8.5Mistakes

IELTS essay It is often said that governments spend too much money on projects to protect wildlife while there are other problems that are more important. v. 10

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
347 words
8.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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