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It is often argued that it is difficult to get children to read. Why do you think this is? What measures could be taken to encourage children to read more? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. v.1

It is often argued that it is difficult to get children to read. Why do you think this is? What measures could be taken to encourage children to read more? v. 1
People often debate that it's a challenge to persuade kids to read. In my opinion, kids now is glued to screens and video games. However, they don't find reading a fun way to spend their time. Children consume hours just on playing games that leads to addiction. Also, that they can play online with their friends and that makes them spend their whole free time gaming without any feeling of the time and how it passed quickly. Especially that they were born with a device to play with, not to read with it. And the only books they know is school and the purpose for it is studying for them its boring and stressful that it reminds them of the schools and homeworks. for instance, my cousin didn't find out that there are electronic books until she turned 9 and she has an iPad. And her parents are to blame about it. For that, parents should read to their sons from a young age to encourage them to read. And make them choose between a hard copy or a soft one. on the other hand, there is a social responsibility for companies and educational institutions to motivate younger to read. for example, Apple should offer 10$ iTunes card for each book that a student read or any game should give them credit if they finish reading. To conclude, there are too many entertaining things to do now more than reading. As, there is no effort to make them reads. So, if the right direction is there the more children reads.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
debate that it's a challenge to persuade kids to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
read
. In my opinion, kids
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
is glued
to screens and video games.
However
, they don't find reading a fun way to spend their time.

Children consume hours
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
on playing games that leads to addiction.
Also
, that they can play online with their friends and that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
them spend their whole free time gaming without any feeling of the time and how it passed
quickly
.
Especially
that they
were born
with a device to play with, not to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
read
with it. And the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
books they know is school and the purpose for it is studying for them its boring and stressful that it reminds them of the schools and
Possible spelling mistake found.
homeworks
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
for
instance, my cousin didn't find out that there are electronic books until she turned
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
9 and
she has an iPad. And her parents are to blame about it.

For that, parents should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
read
to their sons from a young age to encourage them to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
read
. And
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
them choose between a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
copy or a soft one.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
on
the other hand, there is a social responsibility for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
and educational institutions to motivate younger to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
read
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
for
example, Apple should offer
The currency mark is usually put at the beginning of the number: "$10".
10$
iTunes card for each book that a student
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
read
or any game should give them credit if they finish reading.

To conclude
, there are too
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
entertaining things to do
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
more than reading.
“As” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
As
, there is no effort to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
them
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reads
.
“So , if” at the beginning of a sentence requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
So, if
the right direction is there the more children
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reads
.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes
Learn a new language and get a new soul.
Czech Proverb

IELTS essay It is often argued that it is difficult to get children to read. Why do you think this is? What measures could be taken to encourage children to read more? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
260 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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