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It is observed that in many countries not enough students are choosing to study science subject what are the causes? What will be its effect society? v.2

It is observed that in many countries not enough students are choosing to study science subject what are the causes? What will be its effect society? v. 2
In several parts of the world, there is currently a lack of students choosing to study science in universities and colleges. This problem occurs due to some reasons, and of course, it might have adverse impacts on society. There are several reasons why fewer university students are choosing science as their major. Firstly, these subjects are usually more difficult and demanding, which requires students to put much effort into their study. For example, my friend who is doing a course in chemistry had to conduct too many experiments and undertake numerous projects, which prevented him from having any spare time. As a result, science subjects seem to be less attractive to students compared to economics or business subjects. Secondly, as there are currently fewer employment opportunities which are available for graduates in science fields, this might discourage learners from selecting these majors. Instead of that, they tend to choose other subjects, which enables them to find jobs more easily. A shortage of learners in science fields can result in some negative effects. The first impact is that when fewer students decide to learn about science, there would be a serious shortage of employees working in these fields. This would lead to fewer technological developments, which would also prevent improvements in people's life quality. For instance, it would be difficult for humans to produce newer smartphones with better functions. Additionally, while a significantly increasing number of students are choosing economics and business to study, the number of job vacancies in these areas is limited. Therefore, many university graduates might face up to unemployment, which increases the burden upon society. In conclusion, the shortage of students choosing science subjects is caused by several factors, and this issue might create serious impacts.
In several parts of the world, there is
currently
a lack of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
choosing to study
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
science
in universities and colleges. This problem occurs due to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
reasons, and
of course
, it
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
might
have adverse impacts on society.

There are several reasons why fewer university
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
are choosing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
science
as their major.
Firstly
, these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
are
usually
more difficult and demanding, which requires
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to put much effort into their study.
For example
, my friend who is doing a course in chemistry had to conduct too
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
experiments and undertake numerous projects, which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevented
him from having any spare time.
As a result
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
science
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
seem to be less attractive to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
compared to economics or business
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
.
Secondly
, as there are
currently
fewer employment opportunities which are available for graduates in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
science
fields, this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
might
discourage learners from selecting these majors.
Instead
of that, they tend to choose other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
, which enables them to find jobs more
easily
.

A shortage of learners in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
science
fields can result in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
effects. The
first
impact is that when fewer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
decide to learn about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
science
, there would be a serious shortage of employees working in these fields. This would lead to fewer technological developments, which would
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
improvements in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's life quality.
For instance
, it would be difficult for humans to produce newer smartphones with better functions.
Additionally
, while a
significantly
increasing number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
are choosing economics and business to study, the number of job vacancies in these areas
is limited
.
Therefore
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
university graduates
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
might
face up to unemployment, which increases the burden upon society.

In conclusion
, the shortage of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
choosing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
science
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
is caused
by several factors, and this issue
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
might
create serious impacts.
16Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
23Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Mistakes

IELTS essay It is observed that in many countries not enough students are choosing to study science subject what are the causes? What will be its effect society? v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
289 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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