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It is observed that in many countries not enough students are choosing to study science subject. What are causes? And what will be effects on society? v.9

It is observed that in many countries not enough students are choosing to study science subject. What are causes? And what will be effects on society? v. 9
It is a matter of individual choice to study a course. It has been observed that in many nations, a number of individuals choosing science have been limited. This essay will outline a number of reasons behind this situation and a number of effects this would have on the society. There are various reasons why students do not prefer to choose science. One of the main reasons is that science is a much harder course. The students are more interested in taking subjects which are comparatively easier. Science in comparison to the other course, requires more studying. In addition, once a student takes up science, he needs to invest number of years studying before getting a job. To illustrate, in order to become a doctor, one needs to study for many years. Also during their years of internship they are not paid as much. There are various adverse effects this can have on the society. To start with, if there are few pupils taking up science this could adversely impact the economy. As an economy to grow it is vital to have scientists innovating new medicines, doctors who can cure diseases and engineers who can develop new machines. In addition, if few students take up science this will lead to more people taking up other professionals. It can lead to creating abundance of people for the same job. To conclude, science plays a vital role in the growth of the country. It is important that pupils should positively choose science which can help in the development of the economy.
It is a matter of individual choice to study a course. It has
been observed
that in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
nations, a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of individuals choosing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
science
have
been limited
. This essay will outline a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of reasons behind this situation and a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of effects this would have on the society.

There are various reasons why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
do not prefer to choose
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
science
. One of the main reasons is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
science
is a much harder course. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
are more interested in taking subjects which are
comparatively
easier.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Science
in comparison
to the other course, requires more studying.
In addition
, once a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
takes up
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
science
, he needs to invest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of years studying
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
getting a job. To illustrate, in order to become a doctor, one needs to study for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
years.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Also
during their years of internship they are not paid as much.

There are various adverse effects this can have on the society. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
with, if there are few pupils taking up
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
science
this could
adversely
impact the economy. As an economy to grow it is vital to have scientists innovating new medicines, doctors who can cure diseases and engineers who can develop new machines.
In addition
, if few
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
take up
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
science
this will lead to more
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
taking up other professionals. It can lead to creating abundance of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
for the same job.

To conclude
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
science
plays a vital role in the growth of the country. It is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
that pupils should
positively
choose
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
science
which can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
in the development of the economy.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay It is observed that in many countries not enough students are choosing to study science subject. What are causes? And what will be effects on society? v. 9

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
259 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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