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It is observed that communication between family members in today s time is less as compared to the past However some people do not think so Do you agree or disagree v.1

It is observed that communication between family members in today s time is less as compared to the past However some people do not think so v. 1
Every person has their own perspective views of if the government should invest in supporting art and culture or no. But, some people do believe that it is a waste of money and there are other concerns that are more important. On the one hand, there are a variety of issues which need funding from government. The first concern is the education system. To be more specific education plays a major role it helps in developing the country. Educated and well-informed citizens can make a great work force, which will develop the nation's economy. Another issue that needs investing is the environment. In many areas, the pollution is relatively serious as there are many cars in used and huge amount of waste from the factories is discharged into the environment. As a result, government funding should be used to address this problem. On the other hand, I believe that investing in art and culture bring many different benefits for population and society. For example, music and movies are able to help peoples relax and refresh their minds after a long day working hard. In additions, all the beliefs and culture, tradition which is being passed down to us from generation to generation it should be supportive and valued. Therefore, it is necessary for the authority to allocate the resources in supportive art and culture. In conclusion, while i agree that national budget should be used for developing the education and tackling the environmental issues, I firmly believe that investment in art and culture should not be overlooked because of its merits for peoples and community.
Every person has
'Each', 'every', 'either' and 'neither' are used with singular and thus take a singular pronoun: "his", "her", "his or her", "its"
their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
perspective views of if the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should invest in supporting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
or no.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
do believe that it is a waste of money and there are other concerns that are more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
.

On the one hand, there are a variety of issues which need funding from
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
. The
first
concern is the education system. To be more specific education plays a major role it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
in developing the country. Educated and well-informed citizens can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a great work force, which will develop the nation's economy. Another issue that needs investing is the environment. In
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
areas, the pollution is
relatively
serious as there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
cars in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
and huge amount of waste from the factories
is discharged
into the environment.
As a result
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
funding should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to address this problem.

On the other hand
, I believe that investing in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
bring
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
benefits for population and society.
For example
, music and movies are able to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
peoples relax and refresh their minds after a long day working
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
. In additions, all the beliefs and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
, tradition which is
being passed
down to us from generation to generation it should be supportive and valued.
Therefore
, it is necessary for the authority to allocate the resources in supportive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
and culture.

In conclusion
, while
Is this the personal pronoun "I"? It is spelled uppercase.
i
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that national budget should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
for developing the education and tackling the environmental issues, I
firmly
believe that investment in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
should not
be overlooked
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of its merits for peoples and community.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes
Language is not a genetic gift, it is a social gift. Learning a new language is becoming a member of the club – the community of speakers of that language.
Frank Smith

IELTS essay It is observed that communication between family members in today s time is less as compared to the past However some people do not think so v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
265 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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