Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

It is neither possible nor useful to provide university places for a high proportion of young people TO WHAT EXTENT DO YOU AGREE OR DISAGREE v.2

It is neither possible nor useful to provide university places for a high proportion of young people v. 2
In this knowledge-based society, more and more people need to have an university degree to gain a better life, especially in young adults. However, it is both impossible and unuseful to provide almost all young people to university places. Therefore, I totslly agree with this point of view. Firstly, having an university degree no longer has a vital role in the future of young people even in competitive society. In many countries, especially Germany, vocational training has been more popular because it enhances the ability of students to not only gain life skills and practical experience but also open the door to better job opportunities in later life. Furthermore, if every young adults are accepted for university, this factor would cause the imbalance of economical situation and damage the development of a country. This is because there is a little employees who choose a blue-collar jobs such as worker in a factory, farmers and so on. Secondly, it is impossible to provide almost all young people with access to tertiary education. In Vietnam, for example, the population has increased significantly, nearly 100 million people, and ypung people accounted for the highest propportion. Therefore, it is simply unrealistic for university to accommodate almost young adults. Moreover, the demand for entering college never ceases to grow. This leads to a problem that the poor suffer from their finance due to exorbitant education costs in many financially independent universities such as National Economics University. I think that nearly all young people continue to study tertiary education is impossible. In conclusion, for the reasons mentioned above, I would argue that the idea of pursuing university education for a high proportion of young people is completely unrealistic.
In this knowledge-based society, more and more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
need to have
Use "a" instead of 'an' if the following word doesn't start with a vowel sound, e.g. 'a sentence', 'a university'
an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
degree to gain a better life,
especially
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
adults.
However
, it is both impossible and unuseful to provide almost all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
places.
Therefore
, I
Possible spelling mistake found.
totslly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this point of view.

Firstly
, having
Use "a" instead of 'an' if the following word doesn't start with a vowel sound, e.g. 'a sentence', 'a university'
an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
degree no longer has a vital role in the future of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
even in competitive society. In
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
countries,
especially
Germany, vocational training has been more popular
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it enhances the ability of students to not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
gain life
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
and practical experience
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
open the door to better job opportunities in later life.
Furthermore
, if every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
adults are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
accepted
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
, this factor would cause the imbalance of
Did you mean "economic" (=connected with economy)?
economical
situation and damage the development of a country. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
there is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean "employee"?
employees
who choose a blue-collar
Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean "job"?
jobs
such as worker in a factory, farmers and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on.

Secondly
, it is impossible to provide almost all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
with access to tertiary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
. In Vietnam,
for example
, the population has increased
significantly
,
nearly
100 million
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, and
Possible spelling mistake found.
ypung
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
accounted for the highest
Possible spelling mistake found.
propportion
.
Therefore
, it is
simply
unrealistic for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
to accommodate almost
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
adults.
Moreover
, the demand for entering college never ceases to grow. This leads to a problem that the poor suffer from their finance due to exorbitant
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
costs in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
financially
independent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
universities
such as National Economics
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
University
. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that
nearly
all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
continue to study tertiary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
is impossible.

In conclusion
, for the reasons mentioned above, I would argue that the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
of pursuing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
for a high proportion of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
is completely unrealistic.
16Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
28Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes

IELTS essay It is neither possible nor useful to provide university places for a high proportion of young people v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
282 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts