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It is neither possible nor useful for a country to provide university places for a high proportion of young people. To what extent do you agree or disagree. v.4

It is neither possible nor useful for a country to provide university places for a high proportion of young people. v. 4
Furnishing younger generations with tertiary education play an indispensable part in the government’s policies. However, most policy makers reckon that it is infeasible and inefficient to offer the vast majority of the youth higher education. From my perspective, I completely agree with this statement for the following reasons. It proves impossible for a country to provide entry to tertiary education for all young people. The first reason is the prohibitive tuition fees and the inability to afford them of the majority of youths. College or university undergraduates are supposed to learn from experiments, purchase costly materials during a term, let alone other field trips if one major in practical fields of study like engineering or medicine. All of these plus the fact that many students from rural areas find it tough to meet only the annual tuition fees, especially in poverty-stricken countries. This leads to the second reason in which I mean government have other priorities such as universal education, healthcare system to invest in. It also does not seem useful for the whole country once the state wish to accommodate the youth with higher degrees. This is primarily because there is no guarantee that students will become successful and contribute to the well-being of their nation after finishing their study. There are the cases when distinguished graduates fail to secure a decent job and thus become unemployed, exacerbating the burden on society as a consequence. Even worse, some are likely to slack off with their studies or even drop out of school as they either take higher study for granted or find no motivation in furthering their knowledge, given the thought that tertiary education is subsidized or free of charge. In conclusion, it’s my firm belief that not only it is neither possible nor useful for a country to provide university places for a high proportion of young people
Furnishing younger generations with tertiary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
play an indispensable part in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
’s policies.
However
, most
This expression is normally spelled as one or with hyphen.
policy makers
reckon that it is infeasible and inefficient to offer the vast majority of the youth higher
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
. From my perspective, I completely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this statement for the following reasons.

It proves impossible for a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
to provide entry to tertiary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
for all young
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
. The
first
reason is the prohibitive tuition fees and the inability to afford them of the majority of youths. College or university undergraduates
are supposed
to learn from experiments,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
costly materials during a term,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
let
alone other field trips if one major in practical fields of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
like engineering or medicine. All of these plus the fact that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
students from rural areas find it tough to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
the annual tuition fees,
especially
in poverty-stricken
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
. This leads to the second reason in which I mean
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
have other priorities such as universal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
, healthcare system to invest in.

It
also
does not seem useful for the whole
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
once the state wish to accommodate the youth with higher degrees. This is
primarily
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
there is no guarantee that students will become successful and contribute to the well-being of their nation after finishing their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
. There are the cases when distinguished graduates fail to secure a decent job and
thus
become unemployed, exacerbating the burden on society as a consequence. Even worse,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
are likely to slack off with their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studies
or even drop out of school as they either take higher
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
for granted or find no motivation in furthering their knowledge,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
that tertiary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
is subsidized
or free of charge.

In conclusion
, it’s my firm belief that not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
it is neither possible nor useful for a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
to provide university places for a high proportion of young
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes
Learning is a treasure that will follow its owner everywhere.
Chinese Proverb

IELTS essay It is neither possible nor useful for a country to provide university places for a high proportion of young people. v. 4

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
309 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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