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In some societies, the number of crimes commited by teenagers is growing. some people think that regardless of age, teenagers who commit major crimes should receive adult punishment. to what extent do you agree or disagree? v.1

In some societies, the number of crimes commited by teenagers is growing. some people think that regardless of age, teenagers who commit major crimes should receive adult punishment. v. 1
More and more reports on juvenile crime are reported these days. This is because some teenagers are taking undue advantage of subtle laws that exist for adolescents. If this continues, we may soon witness a plethora of such incidents. To counter this situation, it is important to make the law equally applicable for teenagers as it is for adults because this will create fear of imprisonment and help them in understanding the difference between right and wrong. Firstly, law for young teens is very subtle are some countries which are giving them the liberty to commit a crime. For example, in some European countries, teenagers cannot be imprisoned even if they kill someone. These subdued laws are in a way encouraging the youth's careless attitudes. Many incidents were reported in news about situations where the public was hurt by reckless teenagers and most of these teenagers are not even remorseful of their actions. To pardon such culprits would be a mistake of society as any person harmful to the society should be punished equally. So, It is suggested that these young people are given sentences like adult criminals. Furthermore, Children would know the difference between right and wrong when they are punished strictly for the crime. If society and laws are lenient with them, They will not know the damage they are doing to the community. By punishing at least some of such young teens who are involved in major crimes, we will be able to deliver a message to the youth about the consequence of wrongdoing, this will benefit both the community and the young citizens in the long term, In a nutshell, equal laws for hardened criminals who are either adults or young teens will help in creating fear among youth and helps them in distinguishing between right and wrong. Therefore, I strongly agree that lawbreakers should get the same punishment to be it adult or young.
More and more reports on juvenile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
are reported
these days. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teenagers
are taking undue advantage of subtle
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
laws
that exist for adolescents. If this continues, we may
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
soon
witness a plethora of such incidents. To counter this situation, it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
law
equally
applicable for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teenagers
as it is for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
adults
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
this will create fear of imprisonment and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them in understanding the difference between right and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
.

Firstly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
law
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
teens is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
subtle are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
countries which are giving them the liberty to commit a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
.
For example
, in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
European countries,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teenagers
cannot
be imprisoned
even if they kill someone. These subdued
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
laws
are in a way encouraging the youth's careless attitudes.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
incidents
were reported
in news about situations where the public
was hurt
by reckless
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teenagers
and most of these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teenagers
are not even remorseful of their actions. To pardon such culprits would be a mistake of society as any person harmful to the society should
be punished
equally
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, It
is suggested
that these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
sentences like adult criminals.

Furthermore
, Children would know the difference between right and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
when they
are punished
strictly
for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
. If society and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
laws
are lenient with them, They will not know the damage they are doing to the community. By punishing at least
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
of such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
teens who
are involved
in major
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
, we will be able to deliver a message to the youth about the consequence of wrongdoing, this will benefit both the community and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
citizens in the long term,

In a nutshell, equal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
laws
for hardened criminals who are either
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
adults
or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
teens will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
in creating fear among youth and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
them in distinguishing between right and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
.
Therefore
, I
strongly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that lawbreakers should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
the same punishment to be it adult or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay In some societies, the number of crimes commited by teenagers is growing. some people think that regardless of age, teenagers who commit major crimes should receive adult punishment. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
319 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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