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Nowadays individuals take their family abroad when they go on a business trip. Is it a positive or negative development? v.1

Nowadays individuals take their family abroad when they go on a business trip. Is it a positive or negative development? v. 1
Accompanying a family member, who is travelling for business purposes, has become extremely popular considering today's hectic working style. This essay will discuss how it is a largely positive phenomenon as it offers a great opportunity of spending time with family, although the way it hampers one’s professional work cannot be neglected. To embark upon, it is undeniable that taking family members along can be a desirable way of having some quality time. In other words, since today humans are known to be engrossed in their work than ever before, they prefer to have their family beside them whenever possible. To exemplify, a manager, who has a great deal of time to explore and roam around abroad after official meetings, will never leave a chance of boarding family along with him. Consequently, family relationships can be strengthened significantly due to such initiatives, especially in case of those individuals who are not able to take time out, otherwise. Nevertheless, the official work, which is the primary purpose of such travel, can get affected adversely. The attention of the person can be easily taken away from work because the family will demand more time, due to which the business relations can be destroyed. As a result, it can be an arduous job for an individual to balance his personal and professional commitments thereby, ruining relations regardless of the actual intention of the host. Thus, enjoying a business trip with family certainly comes at a price as it can prove challenging for a person to concentrate on work because the environment will give more personal feel rather than professional. In conclusion, I reiterate that business people can certainly take advantage of spending time with dear ones abroad which can improve their bond as well whereas the work can be penalized because of the interruption caused by family.
Accompanying a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
member, who is travelling for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
purposes, has become
extremely
popular considering
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
's hectic working style. This essay will discuss how it is a
largely
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
phenomenon as it offers a great opportunity of spending
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
, although the way it hampers one’s professional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
cannot
be neglected
.

To embark upon, it is undeniable that taking
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
members along can be a desirable way of having
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
quality
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
.
In other words
, since
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
humans
are known
to
be engrossed
in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
than ever
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
, they prefer to have their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
beside them whenever possible. To exemplify, a manager, who has a great deal of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to explore and roam around abroad after official meetings, will never
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
a chance of boarding
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
along with him.
Consequently
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
relationships can
be strengthened
significantly
due to such initiatives,
especially
in case of those individuals who are not able to take
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
out,
otherwise
.

Nevertheless
, the official
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
, which is the primary purpose of such travel, can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
adversely
. The attention of the person can be
easily
taken away from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
will demand more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
, due to which the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
relations can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
destroyed
.
As a result
, it can be an arduous job for an individual to balance his personal and professional commitments thereby, ruining relations regardless of the actual intention of the host.
Thus
, enjoying a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
trip with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
certainly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
at a price as it can prove challenging for a person to concentrate on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the environment will give more personal feel
rather
than professional.

In conclusion
, I reiterate that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
can
certainly
take advantage of spending
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
with dear ones abroad which can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
their bond
as well
whereas the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
can
be penalized
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the interruption caused by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
.
13Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
25Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Mistakes

IELTS essay Nowadays individuals take their family abroad when they go on a business trip. Is it a positive or negative development? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
304 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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