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Agree or disagree and explain it why? It is more important to study math or science than it is to study art or literature v.1

Agree or disagree and explain it why? It is more important to study math or science than it is to study art or literature v. 1
It is said that the tourism industry is the biggest and most popular with the international tourist who come from all around the world. Besides the positive trend, international travelling creates the conflict due to not understanding between residents from different cultures. In my point of view, I totally agree with this statement. On the one hand, the tourism industry brings a significant amount of benefits to many countries and broadens the horizon of the tourists. To begin with, the residents and government in the travelling countries will increase their economic and also provide them a huge if job opportunities. For example, in Thailand, where people gain a higher income from selling the traditional foods, souvenirs and so on, besides, the government also takes amounts of tax from those businesses. Moreover, travelling provides visitor a deep knowledge about the local areas or different culture, compare to search the information on the internet. On the other hand, the social conflict is happened due to the visitors just have a short time to travel and understand about a culture. Initially, a group of Korean as an example, they just have a short time to get the knowledge of Vietnam’s bread, so after the trip they have a really a bad comment about it and the tension between Vietnamese and Korean is increased. However, in every conflict, there will have the positive reply from the travellers from all over the world, so in my opinion, the negative recommends are just due to the fact that they do not understand right about a specific culture. To sum up, the tourists should spend a long time to get a deep knowledge about a culture, so the tourism industry will increase with an effective way.
It
is said
that the tourism industry is the biggest and most popular with the international tourist who
come
from all around the world.
Besides
the
positive
trend, international travelling creates the conflict due to not understanding between residents from
different
cultures
. In my point of view, I
totally
agree
with this statement.

On the one hand, the tourism industry brings a significant amount of benefits to
many
countries and broadens the horizon of the tourists. To
begin
with, the residents and
government
in the travelling countries will increase their economic and
also
provide them a huge if job opportunities.
For example
, in Thailand, where
people
gain a higher income from selling the traditional foods, souvenirs and
so
on,
besides
, the
government
also
takes amounts of tax from those businesses.
Moreover
, travelling provides visitor a deep knowledge about the local areas or
different
culture
, compare to search the information on the internet.

On the other hand
, the social conflict
is happened
due to the visitors
just
have a short time to travel and understand about a
culture
.
Initially
, a group of Korean as an example, they
just
have a short time to
get
the knowledge of Vietnam’s bread,
so
after the trip they have a
really
a
bad
comment about it and the tension between Vietnamese and Korean
is increased
.
However
, in every conflict, there will have the
positive
reply from the
travellers
from all over the world,
so
in my opinion, the
negative
recommends are
just
due to the fact that they do not understand right about a specific culture.

To sum up, the tourists should spend a long time to
get
a deep knowledge about a
culture
,
so
the tourism industry will increase with an effective way.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay Agree or disagree and explain it why? It is more important to study math or science than it is to study art or literature v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
289 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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