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It is more important for students to study history and literature than it is for them to study science and mathematics. v.2

It is more important for students to study history and literature than it is for them to study science and mathematics. v. 2
Some people believe that students should study more history and literature. However, other people think that studying science and mathematics is more important. From my experience and observation, I think that students should study both science and history. Below, I will outline some basic reasons to support my opinion. First of all, I believe that studying history and literature is important for the range of interests of students and people on the whole. It extends the range of interests and teaches people to analyse their history. Every person should know the history of the country where he or she was born. Knowledge of one's roots and origins gives the opportunity to understand many things that are around. Second of all, I think that this kind of knowledge is essential for students who are going to be lawyers, newspapermen, political figures, etc. One more reason to study history is that it helps one to analyse mistakes made by ancestors or learn from their wise decisions. From the other side, I think that it is also important for students to study science. Personally, I like studying mathematics because for me it is very interesting to work with figures, analyse them, develop different ways to solve the problem. It teaches one to think logically and improves one's ability to think non-typically. I think it is great. Studying of science allows people to improve their living conditions, make discoveries, develop innovations, etc. Scientists work on new vaccines and pills to make our life longer and happier. They make researches in different fields from medicine to space. Because of this kind of knowledge humankind has opportunities to watch TV, fly, using jet aeroplanes, surf the Internet, play computer games, watch movies, drive cars, etc. In conclusion, I think that students must study many things including science and literature in order to succeed in the modern world.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
history
and literature.
However
, other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
think
that studying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
science
and mathematics is more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
. From my experience and observation, I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
think
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
science
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
history
. Below, I will outline
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
basic reasons to support my opinion.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, I believe that studying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
history
and literature is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
for the range of interests of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
on the whole
. It extends the range of interests and teaches
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
Possible spelling mistake. 'analyse' is British English.
analyse
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
history
. Every person should know the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
history
of the country where he or she
was born
. Knowledge of one's roots and origins gives the opportunity to understand
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
things that are around.

Second of all, I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
think
that this kind of knowledge is essential for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
who are going to be lawyers, newspapermen, political figures, etc. One more reason to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
history
is that it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
one to
Possible spelling mistake. 'analyse' is British English.
analyse
mistakes made by ancestors or learn from their wise decisions. From the other side, I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
think
that it is
also
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
science
.
Personally
, I like studying mathematics
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
for me it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
interesting to work with figures,
Possible spelling mistake. 'analyse' is British English.
analyse
them, develop
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
ways to solve the problem. It teaches one to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
think
logically
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improves
one's ability to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
think
non-
typically
. I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
think
it is great.

Studying of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
science
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allows
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
their living conditions,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
discoveries, develop innovations, etc. Scientists work on new vaccines and pills to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
our life longer and happier. They
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
researches in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
fields from medicine to space.
Because of this
kind of knowledge humankind has opportunities to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
TV,
fly
, using jet
Possible spelling mistake. 'aeroplanes' is British English.
aeroplanes
, surf the Internet, play computer games,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
movies, drive cars, etc.

In conclusion
, I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
think
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
things including
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
science
and literature in order to succeed in the modern world.
6Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
35Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Mistakes

IELTS essay It is more important for students to study history and literature than it is for them to study science and mathematics. v. 2

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
311 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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