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Some people believe that success in life comes from taking risks or chances. Others believe that success results from careful planning. v.7

Some people believe that success in life comes from taking risks or chances. Others believe that success results from careful planning. v. 7
People have different views on how to achieve success as some believe that we should take risks for being successful, while others think measured planning is the key to success. The following essay will discuss both views in details. On the one hand, it is a fact that taking risks is one of the most important keys to success. Risk takers are smart and innovative people as they have creative ideas and planning and they dare to take chances. Should the plan work out, people would start to recognise and  get attracted to their ideas and output, and soon it might become a big fortune for them. For example, in 2005 Steve Jobs created the Ipad tablet which was a newly developed product at that time. Although there was a risk of failure, he took the risk of launching the product to the world and in the end, the tablet became a sensational device all over the world. On the other hand, some people think the only way to success is through careful and precise planning. They believe that in order to take new steps in life or to make a new business product, people should have a good feasibility study and proper planning. By having a good measurable planning, they would already anticipate and mitigate the risk should there be any failure in the plan. In my opinion, I believe in the combination of both ideas as people must have plans and dreams in their life and the way to achieve that dream is through making action plans and take the risk.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
views on how to achieve
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
success
as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
believe that we should take
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
risks
for being successful, while others
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
measured
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
planning
is the key to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
success
. The following essay will discuss both views in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
details
.

On the one hand, it is a fact that taking
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
risks
is one of the most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
keys to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
success
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Risk
takers are smart and innovative
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
as they have creative
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
and
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
planning and
they dare to take chances. Should the plan work out,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
to
Possible spelling mistake. 'recognise' is British English.
recognise
and
Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
 
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
attracted to their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
and output, and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
soon
it might become a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
fortune for them.
For example
, in 2005 Steve Jobs created the
Possible spelling mistake found.
Ipad
tablet which was a
newly
developed product at that time. Although there was a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
risk
of failure, he took the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
risk
of launching the product to the world and in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
, the tablet became a sensational device all over the world.

On the other hand
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
way to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
success
is through careful and precise
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
planning
. They believe that in order to take new steps in life or to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a new business product,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should have a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
feasibility study and proper
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
planning
. By having a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
measurable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
planning
, they would already anticipate and mitigate the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
risk
should there be any failure in the plan.

In my opinion, I believe in the combination of both
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
have plans and dreams in their life and the way to achieve that dream is through making action plans and take the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
risk
.
2Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
22Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people believe that success in life comes from taking risks or chances. Others believe that success results from careful planning. v. 7

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
263 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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