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It is inevitable that traditional cultures will be lost as technology develops. Technology and traditional cultures are incompatible. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this view? v.6

It is inevitable that traditional cultures will be lost as technology develops. Technology and traditional cultures are incompatible. with this view? v. 6
Some people claim that technological devices such as television, mobile phones and other entertaining electronic items will have a tremendous impact on society. Furthermore, they are even worried that traditions and cultural customs will diminish. In my opinion, I believe that those fears are mainly unfounded. However, I would not totally disagree that there is some truth to those people’s notions. On the one hand, technology makes is possible for people to stay in contact with others who share interests, such as, traditions, religions and other cultural values. In other words, many members of our society lack friends who share the same amount of dedication towards specific traditions. This may be one of the results of moving to another country, where the culture is completely different compared to the one in their land of origin. A study conducted in the US has shown that communicating on the internet about specific interests has increased the overall happiness of such people. On the other hand, using technological devices had the disadvantage that people stop looking for local communities who share the same field of interest. Furthermore, authors say, that those who share their cultural value online do not tend to integrate in their new surroundings. Consequently, they might feel lonely and fail to live their traditions in real life. In conclusion, there are two sides to technology. Even though I agree to a great extent that technology benefits and connects people of the same culture, I also see disadvantages. People may feel isolated from their local communities, which may lead to loneliness.
Some
people
claim that technological devices such as television, mobile phones and
other
entertaining electronic items will have a tremendous impact on society.
Furthermore
, they are even worried that
traditions
and cultural customs will diminish. In my opinion, I believe that those fears are
mainly
unfounded.
However
, I would not
totally
disagree that there is
some
truth to those
people’s
notions.

On the one hand, technology
makes
is possible for
people
to stay in contact with others
who
share
interests, such as,
traditions
, religions and
other
cultural values. In
other
words,
many
members of our society lack friends
who
share
the same amount of dedication towards specific
traditions
. This may be one of the results of moving to another country, where the culture is completely
different
compared to the one in their land of origin. A study conducted in the US has shown that communicating on the internet about specific interests has increased the
overall
happiness of such
people
.

On the
other
hand, using technological devices had the disadvantage that
people
stop
looking for local communities
who
share
the same field of interest.
Furthermore
, authors say, that those
who
share
their cultural value online do not tend to integrate in their new surroundings.
Consequently
, they might feel lonely and fail to
live
their
traditions
in real life.

In conclusion
, there are two sides to technology.
Even though
I
agree
to a great extent that technology benefits and connects
people
of the same culture, I
also
see
disadvantages.
People
may feel isolated from their local communities, which may lead to loneliness.
14Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
22Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Mistakes

IELTS essay It is inevitable that traditional cultures will be lost as technology develops. Technology and traditional cultures are incompatible. with this view? v. 6

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
260 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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