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It is important that children with a wide range of abilities and from a variety of social backgrounds mix with each other at school. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. v.1

It is important that children with a wide range of abilities and from a variety of social backgrounds mix with each other at school. v. 1
From my point of view, I agree that younger pupils should be mixed together at school, whatever their social background or abilities are. It is really important to give any child the same chance of success in their life and schools are the best place to do that. All children have a different background. Judging a child because of their background and refusing them the access of a particular institute can lead to discrimination, which is something really negative. Any children should have the possibility to attempt at institute fitting their capabilities, no matter from where they are coming or how good or bad their situation is. In my experience, one of my classmates in a secondary institute in Belgium was a refugee and wasn’t able to speak French fluently. However, my institute let him a chance to prove himself and he had the possibility to start a medical course at university. Everyone is unique. What I mean is that every child has their own abilities and are better in some areas than others. As a result, accepting all of them in a school leads to a better development of their self as they will feel unique. Additionally, they will also help each other by using their strengths, which will provide a more creative environment in the institute. For instance, in Belgium, secondary schools are providing a wide range of different subjects and we have to follow all of them. Because of that, some of us were better in Maths then in French, or in English than in German, but we always helped each other by providing revision sessions, or tips and tools to succeed our exams. It’s a wonderful thing to learn from the other. To summarise, diversity in schools is really important. To my opinion, no one should be refused in a institute because of their past or situation and everyone should have the chance to use their own abilities to help the others to improve in their life.
From my point of view, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that younger pupils should
be mixed
together at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
, whatever their social background or abilities are. It is
really
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to give any child the same chance of success in their life and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
are the best place to do that.

All children have a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
background. Judging a child
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of their background and refusing them the access of a particular institute can lead to discrimination, which is something
really
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
. Any children should have the possibility to attempt at institute fitting their capabilities, no matter from where they are coming or how
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
their situation is. In my experience, one of my classmates in a secondary institute in Belgium was a refugee and wasn’t able to speak French
fluently
.
However
, my institute
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
let
him a chance to prove
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
himself and
he had the possibility to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
a medical course at university.

Everyone is unique. What I mean is that every child has their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
abilities and are better in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
areas than others.
As a result
, accepting all of them in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
leads to a better development of their self as they will feel unique.
Additionally
, they will
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
by using their strengths, which will provide a more creative environment in the institute.
For instance
, in Belgium, secondary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
are providing a wide range of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
subjects and
we
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
follow all of them.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
of that,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
of us were better in
Possible spelling mistake. 'Maths' is British English.
Maths
then in French, or in English than in German,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
we always
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helped
each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
by providing revision sessions, or tips and tools to succeed our exams. It’s a wonderful thing to learn from the other.

To
Possible spelling mistake. 'summarise' is British English.
summarise
, diversity in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
is
really
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
. To my opinion, no one should
be refused
in
Use "an" instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
a
institute
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of their past or situation and everyone should have the chance to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
abilities to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
the others to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
in their life.
5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Mistakes
One language sets you in a corridor for life. Two languages open every door along the way.
Frank Smith

IELTS essay It is important that children with a wide range of abilities and from a variety of social backgrounds mix with each other at school. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
331 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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