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It is important for children to learn the differences between right and wrong at an early age. Punishmet is necessary to help the learn this distinction. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion? v.2

It is important for children to learn the differences between right and wrong at an early age. Punishmet is necessary to help the learn this distinction. with this opinion? v. 2
The vitality of justifying the differences between right or wrong at very young ages is not neglectible for any individual. It has been well-said that punishment plays an important role in this situation. Actually to me punishment alone, does not make sense. But if it could be merged with applausing, it might have a better consequence. So it really depends on the situation and I personally think punishment itself, does not have a good outcome always. Although, initially, it may seem simple, writing about this complex and controversial topic is not very convenient. One of the aspects that is worth to be pointed out in this essay, is that punishment, even mentally or physically, always brings a large amount of regret with itself. So if this attitude continues, it can lead to somehow depression in children and this, has a very bad impact on their personality. Because there is always a hidden thought inside them that vindicates the disability of doing anything right. But by applausing them with just good affairs, their self confidence starts to bloom. On the behalf of punishment, it can be exemplify that some sort of being out of the game ground really do have a good finish. For example, being in the corridor alone, or prohibitent of watching the best child show just for a few minutes. In other hand if the child have not been punished for his or her wrong way of doing anything, an spirit of rebelience could grows inside them and this results a disobedient human being after. I strongly believe appreciating has more affect than punishment. But looking through it objectively, somewhat punishment, of course just mental one, could be an effective idea for parents and teachers to demonstrate the differences between right and wrong. To sum up, it can be reiterated that, punishment solely, not only isn’t valuable but also it can be harmful. The best method can be offered here, is the usage of punishment in very light way, and in addition, the rewarding for good behaviours.
The vitality of justifying the differences between right or
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
at
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
young ages is not
Possible spelling mistake found.
neglectible
for any individual. It has been well-said that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishment
plays an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
role in this situation. Actually to me
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishment
alone, does not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
sense.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
if it could
be merged
with
Possible spelling mistake found.
applausing
, it might have a better consequence.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
it
really
depends on the situation and I
personally
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishment
itself, does not have a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
outcome
The adverb 'always' is usually not used at the end of a sentence.
always
.

Although,
initially
, it may seem simple, writing about this complex and controversial topic is not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
convenient. One of the aspects
that is
worth to
be pointed
out in this essay, is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishment
, even mentally or
physically
, always brings a large amount of regret with itself.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
if this attitude continues, it can lead to somehow depression in children and this, has a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
impact on their personality.
“Because” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Because
there is always a hidden
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
inside them that vindicates the disability of doing anything right.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
by
Possible spelling mistake found.
applausing
them with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
affairs, their
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
self confidence
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
starts
to bloom. On the behalf of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishment
, it can be
Consider using the past participle "exemplified"?
exemplify
that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
sort of being out of the game ground
really
do have a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
finish.
For example
, being in the corridor alone, or
Possible spelling mistake found.
prohibitent
of watching the best child
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
for a few minutes.

In other hand if the child have not
been punished
for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
his or her
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
way of doing anything,
Use "a" instead of 'an' if the following word doesn't start with a vowel sound, e.g. 'a sentence', 'a university'
an
spirit of
Possible spelling mistake found.
rebelience
could
The verb 'could' requires the base form of the verb: "grow"
grows
inside them and this results a disobedient human being after.

I
strongly
believe appreciating has more affect than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishment
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
looking through it
objectively
, somewhat
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishment
,
of course
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
mental one, could be an effective
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
for parents and teachers to demonstrate the differences between right and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
.

To sum up, it can
be reiterated
that,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishment
solely
, not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
isn’t valuable
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
it can be harmful. The best method can
be offered
here, is the usage of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishment
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
light way, and
in addition
, the rewarding for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviours' is British English.
behaviours
.
6Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
13Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
12Mistakes

IELTS essay It is important for children to learn the differences between right and wrong at an early age. Punishmet is necessary to help the learn this distinction. with this opinion? v. 2

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
339 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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