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It is important for children to learn the difference between right and wrong at an early age. Punishment is necessary to help them learn this distinction. Do you agree or disagree? What sort of punishment should parents and teachers be allowed to use to teach good behavior to children. v.46

It is important for children to learn the difference between right and wrong at an early age. Punishment is necessary to help them learn this distinction. What sort of punishment should parents and teachers be allowed to use to teach good behavior to children. v. 46
Have you ever thought about the reason why you were punished when you were young? Some people believe that it is the key that adults teach kids what righteousness is. In my point of view, I was just going to say that it is a good idea, but it would be better if we penalize them in the correct way. At present, kids can access technology and search for knowledge at an earlier age and easier than before, but, right and wrong cannot teach with technology. What happen if children in nowadays become bad adults in the future? The reason why kids need to know what is right and wrong is because, parents have to teach them to know ethics and morality if they want their children to be in a part of society. Right and wrong are included. Moreover, I truly trust that the best way of learning is by doing also in this case, if parents and teachers want kids to know that they are wrong, so you have to punish them. For example, if they fight in the classroom, teachers have to be fair to everyone also inflict them and give them the explanation why you correct them like that. On the other hand, kind of punishment that parents do with their little babies can affect children's behaviour the same as teachers. For instance, when I was a kid, I want to buy a new toy and scream because my mom did not allow me to buy. Then, she hit me and told me why she punished me like that. So, I started thinking that if I did not do like that I will not be punished. Furthermore, when go to school and see the right inflict that teachers do with my friends, I automatically understand what proper and wrong are. To conclude, parents and teachers can punish kids, but it needs to be reasonably punished and make them clearly understand why did you do that. In my opinion, we can do every kind of punishment, but it needs to be suitable for the situation. That’s the reason why I agree with it.
Have you ever
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
about the reason why you were
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punished
when you were young?
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
believe that it is the key that adults teach
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kids
what righteousness is. In my point of view, I was
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
going to say that it is a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it would be better if we penalize them in the correct way.

At present,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kids
can access technology and search for knowledge at an earlier age and easier than
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
right
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wrong
cannot teach with technology. What happen if children
nowadays is used without 'in'. Use simply: "nowadays".
in nowadays
become
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
adults in the future? The reason why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kids
need to know what is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
right
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wrong
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
teach them to know ethics and morality if they want their children to be in a part of society.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Right
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wrong
are included
.

Moreover
, I
truly
trust that the best way of learning is by doing
also
in this case
, if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
want
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kids
to know that they are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wrong
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
you
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
punish them.
For example
, if they fight in the classroom,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fair
to everyone
also
The pronoun 'everyone' is usually used with a third-person or a past tense verb: "inflicts", "inflicted".
inflict
them and give them the explanation why you correct them like that.

On the other hand
, kind of punishment that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
do with their
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
babies can affect children's
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
the same as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
.
For instance
, when I was a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kid
, I want to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
a new toy and scream
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
my mom did not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
me to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
. Then, she hit me and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
told
me why she
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punished
me like that.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
thinking that if I did not do like that I will not be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punished
.
Furthermore
, when go to school and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
right
inflict that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
do with my friends, I
automatically
understand what proper and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wrong
are.

To conclude
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
can punish
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kids
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it needs to be
reasonably
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punished
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
them
clearly
understand why did you do that. In my opinion, we can do every kind of punishment,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it needs to be suitable for the situation. That’s the reason why I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with it.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay It is important for children to learn the difference between right and wrong at an early age. Punishment is necessary to help them learn this distinction. What sort of punishment should parents and teachers be allowed to use to teach good behavior to children. v. 46

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
356 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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