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It is important for children to learn the difference between right and wrong at an early age. Punishment is necessary to help them learn this distinction. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion? What sort of punishment should parents and v.41

It is important for children to learn the difference between right and wrong at an early age. Punishment is necessary to help them learn this distinction. with this opinion? What sort of punishment should parents and v. 41
IT IS OFTEN BELIEVED BY SOME FOLKS THAT THERE IS NO USE OF SPENDING MONEY ON THE ARTS BY THE AUTHORITIY. BUT THAT MONEY SHOULD SPEND ON SUCH THINGS WHICH MAKE THE NATION STRONG AND HEALTHY SUCH AS EDUCTAION, ARMY. , HEALTH FIELD. I NEITHER CONCURE NOR DIFFER WITH THE ABOVE NOTION DUE TO MYRID OF REASONS. THIS EASSY WILL DISCUSSES WHY IT IS NOT USELESS TO SPEND MONEY ON CREATIVE ACTIVITIES AND AT THE SAME POINT HOW OTHER FACTORS ARE ALSO NOT BE NEGLATED. TO START WITH, FIRST AND FOR MOST WHY IT IS NOT WASTING CURRANCY ON ART BECAUSE OF SEVERAL REASONS. TO ELABORATE, GOVERNMENT ALSO RISES MONEY FROM SUPPORTING SUCH ARTS EVENTS LIKE CRAFT EXHIBITION, TRADITIONAL DANCE SHOWS, PAINTINGS GALLORY ETC. FOR AN INSTANCE ON OF MY FRIEND IS A VERY FAMOUSE PAINTER AND SHE ORGANISED EXHIBITON IN SUBURB AREA WHERE LOT OF YOUNGSTERS CAME. THIS WAS FUNDED BY THE LOCAL MINICIPAL AUTHORITY, SO THEY HAVE SELL THE TICKETS FOR THAT GALLORY SHOW, THUS THEY ALSO HAD AN INCOME FROM IT. SECONDALY, IT IS BECOMING CRUCIAL TO PRESERV THE ANCIENT ARTS BY MEANS OF OPENING MUSEUMS AND FOR THIS GOVERNMENT SHOULD ESTABLISH SOME ORGANIZATION TO LOOK AFTER IT. TO EXPAND IN DETAILS, MANY PEOPLE HAVE A HOBBY TO EXPLORE IT SO IF THEY KNOW WE SUCH KIND OF PLACE THEN THEY WILL COME TO OUR TERETORY TO SEE. BY TOURISM INDUSRTY WILL BE BENEFITED. IF TOURISM GETS PROFITS AUTOMATICALLY THE GOVERNMENT GETS TOO. HOWEVER, THIS WILL EITHER DISTRACT PRESENT GENERATION IN EDUCATION SECTOR OR THIS MAY AFFECT THE ENVIRONMENT. ON THE OTHER SIDE, GOVERNMEN ALSO LOOK AFTER THE HEALTH SECTORS, EDUCATIONS, ARMY PEOPLE. BRIEFLY, MOST IMPORTANT IS THE HEALTH SECTOR, WHERE A LOT OF PEOPLE ARE SUFFERING FROM DANGEROUS DISEASES LIKE CANCER, DIABITIS, SERIOUS LUNGS PROBLEM ETC BUT THE TREATMENTS ASSOCIATED WITH THIS ARE HIGHLY EXPENSIVE, SO GOVERNMENT ALSO DO SOME FINDING TO PART THE TREATMENT COST. MOREOVER, ARMY IS PROTECTING OUR COUNTRY BY GIVING THEIR WHOLE TIME AND EDICATION BUT THEY ARE GETTING LOW PAY WHICH IS NOT FAIR. SO GOVERNMENT ALSO SHOULD SPEND SOME MONEY BY BEING HELPING HAND FOR THEIR FAMILY. TO SUM UP, GOVERNMENT SHOULD LOOK EVERY SECTORS AS EQUAL, AND THEY SHOULD SPEND MONEY ON THE FIELDS WHICH NEED FIRST PRIORITY, THIS DOES NOT MEANS THAT SPENDING MONEY ON ARTS IS WORTHLESS OR GOVERNMENT IS NOT SUPPORTING OTHER SECTORS.
IT IS
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
OFTEN
BELIEVED BY
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
SOME
FOLKS THAT THERE IS NO
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
USE
OF SPENDING
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
MONEY
ON THE
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ARTS
BY THE
Possible spelling mistake found.
AUTHORITIY
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
BUT
THAT
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
MONEY
SHOULD
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
SPEND
ON SUCH THINGS WHICH
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
MAKE
THE NATION STRONG AND HEALTHY SUCH AS
Possible spelling mistake found.
EDUCTAION
, ARMY.
Loose punctuation mark.
,
HEALTH FIELD. I NEITHER
Possible spelling mistake found.
CONCURE
NOR DIFFER WITH THE ABOVE NOTION DUE TO
Possible spelling mistake found.
MYRID
OF REASONS. THIS
Possible spelling mistake found.
EASSY
WILL
The verb 'WILL' requires the base form of the verb: "discuss"
DISCUSSES
WHY IT IS NOT USELESS TO
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
SPEND
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
MONEY
ON CREATIVE ACTIVITIES AND AT THE SAME POINT HOW OTHER FACTORS ARE
ALSO
NOT BE
Possible spelling mistake found.
NEGLATED
.

TO
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
START
WITH,
FIRST
AND FOR MOST WHY IT IS NOT WASTING
Possible spelling mistake found.
CURRANCY
ON
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ART
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
BECAUSE
OF SEVERAL REASONS. TO ELABORATE,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
GOVERNMENT
ALSO
RISES
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
MONEY
FROM SUPPORTING SUCH
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ARTS
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
EVENTS
LIKE CRAFT EXHIBITION, TRADITIONAL DANCE
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
SHOWS
, PAINTINGS
Possible spelling mistake found.
GALLORY
ETC. FOR AN INSTANCE ON OF MY FRIEND IS A
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
VERY
Possible spelling mistake found.
FAMOUSE
PAINTER AND SHE
Possible spelling mistake. 'ORGANISED' is British English.
ORGANISED
Possible spelling mistake found.
EXHIBITON
IN SUBURB AREA WHERE LOT OF YOUNGSTERS CAME. THIS
WAS FUNDED
BY THE LOCAL
Possible spelling mistake found.
MINICIPAL
AUTHORITY,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
SO
THEY HAVE
Use past participle here: "sold".
SELL
THE TICKETS FOR THAT
Possible spelling mistake found.
GALLORY
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
SHOW
,
THUS
THEY
ALSO
HAD AN INCOME FROM IT.

Possible spelling mistake found.
SECONDALY
, IT IS BECOMING CRUCIAL TO
Possible spelling mistake found.
PRESERV
THE ANCIENT
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ARTS
BY MEANS OF OPENING MUSEUMS AND FOR THIS
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
GOVERNMENT
SHOULD ESTABLISH
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
SOME
ORGANIZATION TO LOOK AFTER IT. TO EXPAND IN
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
DETAILS
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
MANY
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
PEOPLE
HAVE A HOBBY TO EXPLORE IT
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
SO
IF THEY KNOW WE SUCH KIND OF PLACE THEN THEY WILL
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
COME
TO OUR
Possible spelling mistake found.
TERETORY
TO
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
SEE
. BY TOURISM
Possible spelling mistake found.
INDUSRTY
WILL
BE BENEFITED
. IF TOURISM
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
GETS
PROFITS
AUTOMATICALLY
THE
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
GOVERNMENT
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
GETS
TOO.
HOWEVER
, THIS WILL EITHER DISTRACT PRESENT GENERATION IN EDUCATION
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
SECTOR
OR THIS MAY AFFECT THE ENVIRONMENT.

ON THE OTHER SIDE,
Possible spelling mistake found.
GOVERNMEN
ALSO
LOOK AFTER THE HEALTH
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
SECTORS
, EDUCATIONS, ARMY
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
PEOPLE
.
BRIEFLY
, MOST
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
IMPORTANT
IS THE HEALTH
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
SECTOR
, WHERE
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
A LOT OF
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
PEOPLE
ARE SUFFERING FROM
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
DANGEROUS
DISEASES LIKE CANCER,
Possible spelling mistake found.
DIABITIS
, SERIOUS LUNGS PROBLEM ETC
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
BUT
THE TREATMENTS ASSOCIATED WITH THIS ARE
HIGHLY
EXPENSIVE,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
SO
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
GOVERNMENT
ALSO
DO
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
SOME
FINDING TO PART THE TREATMENT COST.
MOREOVER
, ARMY IS PROTECTING OUR COUNTRY BY GIVING THEIR WHOLE TIME AND
Possible spelling mistake found.
EDICATION
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
BUT
THEY ARE GETTING LOW PAY WHICH IS NOT
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
FAIR
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
SO
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
GOVERNMENT
ALSO
SHOULD
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
SPEND
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
SOME
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
MONEY
BY BEING HELPING HAND FOR THEIR FAMILY.

TO SUM UP,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
GOVERNMENT
SHOULD LOOK EVERY
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
SECTORS
AS EQUAL, AND THEY SHOULD
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
SPEND
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
MONEY
ON THE FIELDS WHICH NEED
FIRST
PRIORITY, THIS DOES NOT
The verb 'DOES' requires base form of the verb: "mean"
MEANS
THAT SPENDING
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
MONEY
ON
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ARTS
IS WORTHLESS OR
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
GOVERNMENT
IS NOT SUPPORTING OTHER
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
SECTORS
.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay It is important for children to learn the difference between right and wrong at an early age. Punishment is necessary to help them learn this distinction. with this opinion? What sort of punishment should parents and v. 41

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
397 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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