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It is important for children to learn the difference between right and wrong at an early age. Punishment is necessary to help them learn this distinction. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion? What sort of punishment should parents and teachers be allowed to use to teach good behavior to children? v.30

It is important for children to learn the difference between right and wrong at an early age. Punishment is necessary to help them learn this distinction. with this opinion? What sort of punishment should parents and teachers be allowed to use to teach good behavior to children? v. 30
It is generally accepted nowadays that it is difficult to bring up a kid since there are lots of factors affecting their behaviour. At their early childhood they should know the good and bad. However, a punishment must be implemented whenever they are doing bad for them to learn from their mistakes. And it is the role of parents and teachers to guide them in the right path. I strongly agree with this agreement. Firstly, it is essential to use punishment as a method of correcting the mistakes of children. As the world is becoming modern, it is the time that guiding a child is becoming difficult compared in 19th century times. Children today are curious and spoiled, they have to insist whatever they want even it has harmful effects to them. It seems that teaching good behaviour and virtues will be easier by both parents and teachers when children are still in young ages. If the kids know that they will be punished upon doing bad actions, they will usually stay away from committing these acts. Secondly, punishment should always bet to teach a lesson and not to hurt them physically but also psychologically so everyone should be aware about the level of punishment that they are about to give. However, if there is a punishment, a reward system should also be there if the child has done something good for them to be more motivated in doing great things that we can be proud of. To conclude, punishments are important to teach our children and not to encourage them to repeat the bad act. Moreover, these sort of punishments must be chosen very carefully so that our children could learn from them and do not become more violent due to punishments
It is
generally
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
accepted
nowadays that it is difficult to bring up a kid since there are lots of factors affecting their
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
. At their early childhood they should know the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bad
.
However
, a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishment
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be implemented
whenever they are doing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bad
for them to learn from their mistakes. And it is the role of parents and teachers to guide them in the right path. I
strongly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this agreement.

Firstly
, it is essential to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishment
as a method of correcting the mistakes of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
. As the world is becoming modern, it is the time that guiding a child is becoming difficult compared in 19th century times.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Children
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
are curious and spoiled, they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
insist whatever they want even it has harmful effects to them. It seems that teaching
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
and virtues will be easier by both parents and teachers when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
are
still
in young ages. If the kids know that they will
be punished
upon doing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bad
actions, they will
usually
stay away from committing these acts.

Secondly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishment
should always bet to teach a lesson and not to hurt them
physically
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
psychologically
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
everyone should be aware about the level of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishment
that they are about to give.
However
, if there is a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishment
, a reward system should
also
be there if the child has done something
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
for them to be more motivated in doing great things that we can be proud of.

To conclude
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishments
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to teach our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
and not to encourage them to repeat the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bad
act.
Moreover
,
Did you mean "this sort" or "these sorts"?
these sort
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishments
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be chosen
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
carefully
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
could learn from them and do not become more violent due to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishments
11Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
17Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes

IELTS essay It is important for children to learn the difference between right and wrong at an early age. Punishment is necessary to help them learn this distinction. with this opinion? What sort of punishment should parents and teachers be allowed to use to teach good behavior to children? v. 30

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
292 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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