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certain individuals ascertain that there are benefits to communities by doing research with microbes like bacteria or viruses. Others, however, feel that this is harmful and must be avoided. Express your thoughts on both sides and give your own perspective. Use your own life references to support your arguments. v.1

certain individuals ascertain that there are benefits to communities by doing research with microbes like bacteria or viruses. Others, however, feel that this is harmful and must be avoided. Express your thoughts on both sides and give your own perspective. Use your own life references to support your arguments. v. 1
Over the past century, humanity has spent billions of dollars researching viruses and bacteria. In hospitals, universities, and military installations around the world, people have set up laboratories and use special equipment to capture, cultivate and identify microbes. This research has a major impact on the lives of all people. Many individuals feel that research on bacteria and viruses should be banned as it is dangerous to human life; however, others, including myself, believe that such experiments increase longevity and improve health. A number of advocates against the experimentation of bacteria and viruses believe that this endeavor causes more suffering and death than benefits for humanity. Certain types of viruses and bacteria can make people extremely ill and cause eventual death. As well, they spread exponentially through the population and can be very difficult to manage. Furthermore, humans tend to conduct research on microbes to create biological weapons which could lead to the extinction of humanity. I hear, read and see that nowadays, the infamous coronavirus is spreading across the globe and infecting millions of people, as well as killing 2% of those infected. Many experts believe that this is a man-made virus, but nobody seems to know the way to stop this pathogen. Nevertheless, these incidents cannot be a reason for stopping medical research on microbes. Arguably, the wealth of knowledge and advancement in the medical field, specifically with the understanding of microbiology, has enabled humans to not only add decades onto their life spans but also live with fewer illnesses. When experiments are done carefully and ethically, the medical scientist is able to develop vaccines and antibiotics which save the lives of millions of people every day. There are many antibiotics and vaccines available for illnesses like malaria, pneumonia, meningitis and the common flu to name just a few. These pathogens, before researching microbes, claimed the lives of many more people in the past. For these exact reasons, I am strongly in favor of continuing experiments on bacteria and viruses. In conclusion, the experimentation of pathogens can be detrimental and beneficial for society. Either way, many experts, myself as well, believe that the overall result of such experiments is positive and must be pursued. In the end, humanity has to see the bigger picture and not get scared by “momentary” circumstances.
Over the past century,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
humanity
has spent billions of dollars researching
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
viruses
and bacteria. In hospitals, universities, and military installations around the world,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have set up laboratories and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
special equipment to capture, cultivate and identify microbes. This
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
research
has a major impact on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lives
of all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
individuals feel that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
research
on bacteria and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
viruses
should
be banned
as it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
to human life;
however
, others, including myself,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
that such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experiments
increase longevity and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
health.

A number of advocates against the experimentation of bacteria and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
viruses
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
that this endeavor causes more suffering and death than benefits for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
humanity
. Certain types of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
viruses
and bacteria can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
extremely
ill and cause eventual death.
As well
, they spread
exponentially
through the population and can be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
difficult to manage.
Furthermore
, humans tend to conduct
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
research
on microbes to create biological weapons which could lead to the extinction of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
humanity
. I hear, read and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
that nowadays, the infamous coronavirus is spreading across the globe and infecting millions of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
,
as well
as killing 2% of those infected.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
experts
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
that this is a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
man
-made virus,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
nobody seems to know the way to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stop
this pathogen.
Nevertheless
, these incidents cannot be a reason for stopping medical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
research
on microbes.

Arguably
, the wealth of knowledge and advancement in the medical field,
specifically
with the understanding of microbiology, has enabled humans to not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
add
decades onto their life spans
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
with fewer illnesses. When
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experiments
are done
carefully
and
ethically
, the medical scientist is able to develop vaccines and antibiotics which save the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lives
of millions of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
every day. There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
antibiotics and vaccines available for illnesses like malaria, pneumonia, meningitis and the common flu to name
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
a few. These pathogens,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
researching microbes, claimed the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lives
of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in the past. For these exact reasons, I am
strongly
in favor of continuing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experiments
on bacteria and viruses.

In conclusion
, the experimentation of pathogens can be detrimental and beneficial for society. Either way,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
experts, myself
as well
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
that the
overall
result of such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experiments
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be pursued
. In the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
humanity
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
the bigger picture and not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
scared by “momentary” circumstances.
11Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
30Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Mistakes
Language is not a genetic gift, it is a social gift. Learning a new language is becoming a member of the club – the community of speakers of that language.
Frank Smith

IELTS essay certain individuals ascertain that there are benefits to communities by doing research with microbes like bacteria or viruses. Others, however, feel that this is harmful and must be avoided. Express your thoughts on both sides and give your own perspective. Use your own life references to support your arguments. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
383 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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