Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Being a celebrity such as a famous film star or sports personality brings problems as well as benefits. Do you think that being a celebrity brings more benefits or more problems? v.11

Being a celebrity such as a famous film star or sports personality brings problems as well as benefits. Do you think that being a celebrity brings more benefits or more problems? v. 11
Doubtlessly, celebrities such as an eminent movie star or a well-known athlete has some difficulties besides the advantages of reputation in society that if they cannot control condition, it will be altered to crucial problems in their lives. Fundamentally, each man would like to be a celebrity for its benefits instance well-paid of their jobs, familiar all around their country or even in the world, having the respect of people specially their fans, achieving to prosperity and receiving trophy would be pleasant for each person. Also, they usually are on a trip and their life would not be boring. But these are just surface sight of their life glanced by us during they would be on our vision. Whereas, being a famous individual can be followed by many difficulties for example: consider hate of rivals proponents from a sport personality or when an actor would be in centre of criticisms which are sever situations. On the other hand, they are under supervision of reporters and individuals so they can not have own calm lifestyle. They have to work hard to be on their high quality in their competitions which they will not fall down. As they are as the kids' pattern so they should pay attention to their altitudes because their tiny mistake will be converted to a huge bad manner by the press exaggerating story. Could you accept to be far from your family for a couple of months or even years? Yes, national team member who are in preparing the camp for contests must be far from their family for a period of time that is very intolerable. In sum, despite of some profits of being a popular guy, its disadvantages would be as well as advantages so it seems better to consider all aspects of this type of life.
Doubtlessly
, celebrities such as an eminent movie star or a well-known athlete has
some
difficulties
besides
the advantages of reputation in society that if they cannot control condition, it will
be altered
to crucial problems in their
lives
.

Fundamentally
, each
man
would like to be a celebrity for its benefits instance well-paid of their jobs, familiar all around their country or even in the world, having the respect of
people
specially
their fans, achieving to prosperity and receiving trophy would be pleasant for each person.
Also
, they
usually are
on a trip and their life would not be boring.
But
these are
just
surface sight of their life glanced by us during they would be on our vision.

Whereas, being a
famous
individual can
be followed
by
many
difficulties
for example
: consider hate of rivals proponents from a sport personality or when an actor would be in
centre
of criticisms which are sever situations.
On the other hand
, they are under supervision of reporters and individuals
so
they can not have
own
calm lifestyle. They
have to
work
hard
to be on their high quality in their competitions which they will not fall down. As they are as the kids' pattern
so
they should pay attention to their altitudes
because
their tiny mistake will
be converted
to a huge
bad
manner by the press exaggerating story. Could you accept to be far from your family for a couple of months or even years? Yes, national team member who are in preparing the camp for contests
must
be far from their family for a period of time
that is
very
intolerable.

In sum,
despite of
some
profits of being a popular guy, its disadvantages would be
as well
as advantages
so
it seems better to consider all aspects of this type of life.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Mistakes

IELTS essay Being a celebrity such as a famous film star or sports personality brings problems as well as benefits. Do you think that being a celebrity brings more benefits or more problems? v. 11

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
302 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts