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It is generally seen that most working people do not do enough physical exercise What are the reasons behind this? How can this problem be solved? v.1

It is generally seen that most working people do not do enough physical exercise What are the reasons behind this? How can this problem be solved? v. 1
Health is one of the key parameters which determines an individual's happiness. Nowadays, most of the professionals are so much equipped with their work that they did not think of the workout. Lacking in time management skills and aligning the priorities in life are critical reasons for it. This essay will talk about these causes and probable solutions to address it. Firstly, everyone in this world is looking for success in short span of time, this type of aggressive targets in life would impose irrelevant pressure on self, which push an individual towards working late nights and reduction in sleeping hours. This could be easily managed by properly aligning the expectations and targets. For instance, a healthy baby need 9 months of duration to be in the womb, which means this process is of defined duration and cannot be changed by putting extra efforts. The solution for this problem is in the person's realistic thought process and spend his available time wisely. Secondly, the peer competition at the workplace which did not leave much time for people to go for the physical activities. Working in a shift across 24 hours is a new trend of the jobs, this impacts the daily schedule of an employee. It would be difficult to control much from the employer's perspective, although time management could be a probable solution here. Individuals can enrol themselves to the fitness club which operate entire day and burn down their calories. Managing the available hours in proper way could be the best way to fix the impact of shift culture in the job. To sum up, everyone has challenges in their daily life, it is an individual responsibility to maintain their fitness. This could be achieved by properly managing the 24 hours and be realistic towards the goals of life. Having said that, it is good to have ambitions in the life but at the same time, any aggressive targets would bring unwanted pressure.
Health is one of the key parameters which determines an individual's happiness. Nowadays, most of the professionals are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
much equipped with their work that they did not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
of the workout. Lacking in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
management
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
and aligning the priorities in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
are critical reasons for it. This essay will talk about these causes and probable solutions to address it.

Firstly
, everyone in this world is looking for success in short span of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
, this type of aggressive targets in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
would impose irrelevant pressure on self, which push an individual towards working late nights and reduction in sleeping
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
. This could be
easily
managed by
properly
aligning the expectations and targets.
For instance
, a healthy baby need 9 months of duration to be in the womb, which means this process is of defined duration and cannot be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
by putting extra efforts. The solution for this problem is in the person's realistic
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
process and spend his available
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
wisely
.

Secondly
, the peer competition at the workplace which did not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
much
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
to go for the physical activities. Working in a shift across 24
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
is a new trend of the jobs, this impacts the daily schedule of an employee. It would be difficult to control much from the employer's perspective, although
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
management could be a probable solution here. Individuals can enrol themselves to the fitness club which operate entire day and burn down their calories. Managing the available
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
in proper way could be the best way to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fix
the impact of shift culture in the job.

To sum up, everyone has challenges in their daily
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
, it is an individual responsibility to maintain their fitness. This could
be achieved
by
properly
managing the 24
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
and be realistic towards the goals of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
. Having said that, it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
to have ambitions in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
at the same
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
, any aggressive targets would bring unwanted pressure.
3Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
15Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Mistakes
Change your language and you change your thoughts.
Karl Albrecht

IELTS essay It is generally seen that most working people do not do enough physical exercise What are the reasons behind this? How can this problem be solved? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
325 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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