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It is generally believed that the Internet it is an excellent means of communication but some people suggest that it may not be the best place to find information. Discuss both these views and give your opinion. v.1

It is generally believed that the Internet it is an excellent means of communication but some people suggest that it may not be the best place to find information. v. 1
In this modern epoch, someone does not consider a difficult task to make cuisine. This revolution has brought various shifts in the human lifestyle. I personally believe that it plays an indispensable role in the lives of students, businessmen and many others, who entails time to fulfil their remaining work. However, it has put everyone health to a profound extent of a danger. Undoubtedly, the advancement in the field of cooking has brought a multitude of benefits which are modifying their lives. The students are living in the foreign countries, they have not a plenty of time to make food. To put in another way, they have many assignments and task to do. Because of this, they just buy a Prepack food as they like the most and microwave it, that is so easy, which is impossible before this invention. For example, a recent study, revealed that humans, who has succeeded in their business, they do not think significantly about the baking of cuisine, but they conjecture more about the way to expand their firm. Furthermore, women in the past gave their much time in cooking, but now they also work and support their families financially. Nevertheless, processed food has a number of drawbacks. It directly affects their health leads to raise the level of obesity because it contains a saturated fat, which is the primary cause of the heart attack. For instance, according to a nutrition department, they conducted a standardized test on  two groups of people, one was eating house made cuisine and the other was relying on Prepacked items. The first one attains their body mass index, while the other one far away from it and suffer from various diseases. As a repercussion, already prepared foodstuff is not a good substitute for a fresh one, which is essential to maintain a nutritional level. To conclude, the easiness providing to make different foods, helps the member of various communities. It reinforced someone to focus on its career. Although, these modernizations divert us towards a poor imbalance diet.
In this modern epoch, someone does not consider a difficult task to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
cuisine. This revolution has brought various shifts in the human lifestyle. I
personally
believe that it plays an indispensable role in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
of students, businessmen and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
others, who entails time to fulfil their remaining work.
However
, it has put everyone health to a profound extent of a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
danger
.

Undoubtedly
, the advancement in the field of cooking has brought a multitude of benefits which are modifying their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
. The students are living in the foreign countries, they have not a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
plenty
of time to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
. To put in another way, they have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
assignments and task to do.
Because of this
, they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
a
Possible spelling mistake found.
Prepack
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
as they like the most and microwave it,
that is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
easy, which is impossible
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
this invention.
For example
, a recent study, revealed that humans, who has succeeded in their business, they do not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
significantly
about the baking of cuisine,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
they conjecture more about the way to expand their firm.
Furthermore
, women in the past gave their much time in cooking,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
they
also
work and support their families
financially
.

Nevertheless
, processed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
has a number of drawbacks. It
directly
affects their health leads to raise the level of obesity
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it contains a saturated
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fat
, which is the primary cause of the heart attack.
For instance
, according to a nutrition department, they conducted a standardized
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
test
Possible spelling mistake found.
on&nbsp
; two groups of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
, one was eating
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
made cuisine and the other was relying on Prepacked items. The
first
one attains their body mass index, while the other one far away from it and suffer from various diseases. As a repercussion, already prepared foodstuff is not a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
substitute for a fresh one, which is essential to maintain a nutritional level.

To conclude
, the easiness providing to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foods
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
the member of various communities. It reinforced someone to focus on its career.
“Although” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Although
, these
Possible spelling mistake found.
modernizations
divert us towards a poor imbalance diet.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay It is generally believed that the Internet it is an excellent means of communication but some people suggest that it may not be the best place to find information. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
339 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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