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it is generally believed that success in fields such as arts and sports can only be achieved if a person has natural talent. However, its sometimes claimed that any child can be thought to become a good sports person or artist. Discuss both views and give your opinion. v.1

it is generally believed that success in fields such as arts and sports can only be achieved if a person has natural talent. However, its sometimes claimed that any child can be thought to become a good sports person or artist. v. 1
It is a universally acceptable idea that only individuals who are naturally gifted in the path of art and sport can achieve excellence, although some are of the opinion that a child can be tutored to excel in this field In my opinion, talent has a role to play in becoming a great artist, nevertheless factors such as discipline, interest, and practice can make even a non talented child achieve greater heights It's a fact that inborn gift has a role to play in climbing the ladder of excellence, particularly in areas of sports. However, innate ability without proper guidance, constant practice and correction cannot guarantee success, as such, all factors should be put into consideration in an outstanding performance. For instance, my cousin had a natural ability to play the guitar since age 4, he took lessons and underwent a series of training prior to a national competition he recently won in Ghana. Thus, in order to climb the ladder of success, a collaboration of talent and hard work must be considered. On the other hand, a child with no natural incline, who is properly learnt in music or games has a very high chance at becoming great. Though, there must be a high threshold of interest and love in order to withstand any challenge that may arise. For example, my little niece who loves ballet spend a lot of time practicing and she's great at it, as she recently won the gold prize for a competition held two weeks ago. In conclusion, talent is of utmost importance, but in itself cannot guarantee excellent results as compared to a non gifted child who is likely to be greater due to the interest, self denial and quantity of hard work put together. In my opinion, innate ability should be collaborated with interest and effectiveness.
It is a
universally
acceptable
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
individuals
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
are
naturally
gifted in the path of art and sport can achieve excellence, although
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
are of the opinion that a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
can
be tutored
to excel in this field

In my opinion, talent has a role to play in becoming a great artist,
nevertheless
factors such as discipline,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
interest
, and practice can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
even a
It appears that a hyphen is missing.
non talented
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
achieve greater heights

It's a fact that inborn gift has a role to play in climbing the ladder of excellence,
particularly
in areas of sports.
However
, innate ability without proper guidance, constant practice and correction cannot guarantee success, as such, all factors should
be put
into consideration in an outstanding performance.
For instance
, my cousin had a natural ability to play the guitar since age 4, he took lessons and underwent a series of training prior to a national competition he recently won in Ghana.
Thus
, in order to climb the ladder of success, a collaboration of talent and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
work
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be considered
.

On the other hand
, a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
with no natural incline,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
is
properly
Possible spelling mistake. 'learnt' is British English.
learnt
in music or games has a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
high chance at becoming great. Though, there
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be a high threshold of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
interest
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
in order to withstand any challenge that may arise.
For example
, my
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
niece
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
loves
ballet spend
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
time
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
practicing and
she's great at it, as she recently won the gold prize for a competition held two weeks ago.

In conclusion
, talent is of utmost importance,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
in itself cannot guarantee excellent results as compared to a
It appears that a hyphen is missing.
non gifted
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
is likely to be greater due to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
interest
,
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
self denial
and quantity of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
work put together.

In my opinion, innate ability should
be collaborated
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
interest
and effectiveness.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
12Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Mistakes
If we spoke a different language, we would perceive a somewhat different world.
Ludwig Wittgenstein

IELTS essay it is generally believed that success in fields such as arts and sports can only be achieved if a person has natural talent. However, its sometimes claimed that any child can be thought to become a good sports person or artist. v. 1

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
304 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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