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It is generally believed that some people are born with certains talents, for instance for sports or music, and other are not. However, it is sometimes claimed that any child can be taught to become a good sports person or musicians. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. v.1

It is generally believed that some people are born with certains talents, for instance for sports or music, and other are not. However, it is sometimes claimed that any child can be taught to become a good sports person or musicians. v. 1
People have always debated on the ideas of inborn talents and acquired talents, discussing its validity and supremacy. However, it highly depends on the penchant inclination of a child, which inspires him to master the skill. With the help of studies from Oxford University and examples, I will discuss both the views. On one hand, some people believe you can master, sports or music, through continuous learning and practice, but there are so many cases which contradicts this. For instance, if you cannot hear the difference in music chords such A Minor or B Flat, irrespective of how hard you try, you won't succeed at it. There are also examples, where children playing a sport under parental pressure, eventually burn out and succumb to failure. So, even though learning a skill can get you to a particular point, but succeeding at it depends on various others factors which cannot be derived from hard work and teachings. On the other hand, people might be born with a particular talent, but that does not mean they would be good at it. For example, there are many people who have a perfect pitch, but they might not be great at utilising it, to make mesmerising music. Inborn skill gives the child a head start, but to maintain the lead they have to continuously work on improving it. A recent study from Oxford university showed that, nearly 30% of the celebrities who are among the elite in their field start their careers later in life. Thus, the given examples show that even though you are born with a skill, does not necessary mean that you will be the best at it if you pursue it. In conclusion, I would like to say, a skill is a dynamic factor in life, irrespective if you born with it or you have learned it, you will have to keep on learning it. As change is the only constant, any skill will get obsolete if not learned further and if you are not good at something, how much ever you try you might not be able to learn something in life.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
have always debated on the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
of inborn talents and acquired talents, discussing its validity and supremacy.
However
, it
highly
depends on the penchant inclination of a child, which inspires him to master the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skill
. With the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
of studies from Oxford University and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
examples
, I will discuss both the views.

On one hand,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe you can master, sports or music, through continuous learning and practice,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
cases which contradicts this.
For instance
, if you cannot hear the difference in music chords such A Minor or B Flat, irrespective of how
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
you try, you won't succeed at it. There are
also
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
examples
, where children playing a sport under parental pressure,
eventually
burn out and succumb to failure.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
,
even though
learning a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skill
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
you to a particular point,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
succeeding at it depends on various others factors which cannot
be derived
from
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
work and teachings.

On the other hand
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
might
be born
with a particular talent,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
that does not mean they would be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
at it. For
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
example
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who have a perfect pitch,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
they might not be great at
Possible spelling mistake. 'utilising' is British English.
utilising
it, to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
Possible spelling mistake. 'mesmerising' is British English.
mesmerising
music. Inborn
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skill
gives the child a head
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
to maintain the lead they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
continuously
work on improving it. A recent study from Oxford university
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
showed
that,
nearly
30% of the celebrities who are among the elite in their field
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
their careers later in life.
Thus
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
examples
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
that
even though
you
are born
with a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skill
, does not necessary mean that you will be the best at it if you pursue it.

In conclusion
, I would like to say, a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skill
is a dynamic factor in life, irrespective if you born with it or you have learned it, you will
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
on learning it. As
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
is the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
constant, any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skill
will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
obsolete if not learned
further
and if you are not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
at something, how much ever you try you might not be able to learn something in life.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes
The man who does not know other languages, unless he is a man of genius, necessarily has deficiencies in his ideas.
Victor Hugo

IELTS essay It is generally believed that some people are born with certains talents, for instance for sports or music, and other are not. However, it is sometimes claimed that any child can be taught to become a good sports person or musicians. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
353 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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