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It is generally believed that some people are born with certain talents, for instance for sports or music, and others are not. However, it is sometimes claimed that any child can be taught to be a good sports person or musician. Discuss both views and give your own opinion? v.7

It is generally believed that some people are born with certain talents, for instance for sports or music, and others are not. However, it is sometimes claimed that any child can be taught to be a good sports person or musician. v. 7
Talents are innate gifts from God. There is a general belief that people are categorized into two groups, some people are born with specific talents in sports or music and others are not. Although there are some other people who believe that talents can be acquired through training, in my opinion, determination, hard work and continuous training can lead children to be good musicians or sports persons. From one hand, people who are born with talents show an impressive progress in their talents more than people who are taught these talents. They don't need to exert efforts to explore their talents and hobbies, for example, the Egyptian player Mohamed Salah who was born with a magical talent in playing football. Yet, training played an important role in boosting his talent as he always mentions in his interviews that he used to travel daily to a very far place to get trained. From the other hand, it is believed that training can change people's life. Those who get a continuous and high-quality training on a specific talent or sport would achieve a booming. Moreover, people can discover their talents when they get older. In this case, they should get a comprehensive training to reach higher levels in a short time. For example, personally, I discovered that I can write Arabic poetry at the age of 25. I attended a plenty of workshop so as to be able to develop my newly-discovered talent. Thanks to the training and workshops I attended, I published my first volume after a couple of years. In conclusion, there is a general belief that people should be born with talents while there is a group of them who claim that these talents can be taught and trained on. I would go with those who believe that training plays a vital role in making children successful artists or sports players.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Talents
are innate gifts from God. There is a general belief that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are categorized
into two groups,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are born
with specific
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
talents
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
or music
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
and others
are not. Although there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
talents
can
be acquired
through
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
training
, in my opinion, determination,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
work and continuous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
training
can lead children to be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
musicians or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
persons.

From one hand,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
are born
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
talents
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
Uncountable nouns are usually not used with an indefinite article. Use simply "impressive progress".
an impressive progress
in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
talents
more than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
are taught
these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
talents
. They don't need to exert efforts to explore their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
talents
and hobbies,
for example
, the Egyptian player Mohamed Salah
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
was born
with a magical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
talent
in playing football.
Yet
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
training
played an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
role in boosting his
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
talent
as he always mentions in his interviews that he
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to travel daily to a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
far place to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
trained.

From the other hand, it
is believed
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
training
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's life. Those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a continuous and high-quality
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
training
on a specific
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
talent
or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
would achieve a booming.
Moreover
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can discover their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
talents
when they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
older.
In this case
, they should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a comprehensive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
training
to reach higher levels in a short time.
For example
,
personally
, I discovered that I can write Arabic poetry at the age of 25. I attended a
Possible agreement error. The noun workshop seems to be countable; consider using: "plenty of workshops".
plenty of workshop
'So as to' expresses purpose and is used in formal texts. Consider using "to"
so as to
be able to develop my
newly
-discovered
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
talent
. Thanks to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
training
and workshops I attended, I published my
first
volume after a couple of years.

In conclusion
, there is a general belief that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should
be born
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
talents
while there is a group of them
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
claim that these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
talents
can
be taught
and trained on. I would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
go with
those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
training
plays a vital role in making children successful artists or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
players.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay It is generally believed that some people are born with certain talents, for instance for sports or music, and others are not. However, it is sometimes claimed that any child can be taught to be a good sports person or musician. v. 7

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
312 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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