Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

It is generally believed that some people are born with certain talents, for instance for sports or music, and others are not. However, it is sometimes claimed that any child can be taught to become a good sportsperson or musician. Discuss both these views and give your opinion. v.11

It is generally believed that some people are born with certain talents, for instance for sports or music, and others are not. However, it is sometimes claimed that any child can be taught to become a good sportsperson or musician. v. 11
It is true that some kids are born with inborn talents in the area of sports or arts and with the skills they become famous. There are also kids who reach in better position in music and sports with the huge effort of learning and practicing. In my opinion, it is only with hard work and continue practice, a person can reach in a better position even they have the talent from their birth. Firstly, we have observed that the children of famous musician or sportsman are following their hereditary path and becoming rock starts in the field. The kids of celebrities often show the same interest as the gene is there in the body. Moreover, from the childhood onwards they see and get exposure to their parent's field. Additionally, with the training from their parents, they reach into a good place. For instance, we can see the son and daughter of Indian film actors are now famous persons in the film industries. Secondly, some children get the inspirations and motivations from schools and other public organization. In school, various extra curriculum activities are there to encourage and identify the talents of the students. Furthermore, they give extra care to develop the skill and often these help the children to shine in the field. For example, the famous sportsman Sachin got the encouragement and support from his teacher and because of his hard work he reached in a great place. In conclusion, even if we have inborn talent, we need practice and hard work to reach a better position. Inborn talent may help us in the initial stage, but to become an expert, we have to put our efforts.
It is true that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
kids
are born
with inborn
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
talents
in the area of sports or arts and with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
they become
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
famous
. There are
also
kids who
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reach
in better position in music and sports with the huge effort of learning and practicing. In my opinion, it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
work and continue practice, a person can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reach
in a better position even they have the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
talent
from their birth.

Firstly
, we have observed that the children of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
famous
musician or sportsman are following their hereditary path and becoming rock
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
starts
in the field. The kids of celebrities
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
the same interest as the gene is there in the body.
Moreover
, from the childhood onwards they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
exposure to their parent's field.
Additionally
, with the training from their parents, they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reach
into a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
place.
For instance
, we can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
the son and daughter of Indian film actors are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
famous
persons in the film industries.

Secondly
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
children
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
the inspirations and motivations from schools and other public organization. In school, various extra curriculum activities are there to encourage and identify the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
talents
of the students.
Furthermore
, they give extra care to develop the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skill
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
these
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
the children to shine in the field.
For example
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
famous
sportsman
Possible spelling mistake found.
Sachin
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
the encouragement and support from his teacher and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of his
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
work he reached in a great place.

In conclusion
, even if we have inborn
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
talent
, we need practice and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
work to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reach
a better position. Inborn
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
talent
may
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
us in the initial stage,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
to become an expert, we
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
put our efforts.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
9Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
9Mistakes

IELTS essay It is generally believed that some people are born with certain talents, for instance for sports or music, and others are not. However, it is sometimes claimed that any child can be taught to become a good sportsperson or musician. v. 11

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
279 words
9
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 9.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 9.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 9.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts