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Nowadays people make new friends through social networks and internet chat groups. Some people think this is good. Other think that face-to-face interaction is essential. Discuss both views and give your opinion. v.15

Nowadays people make new friends through social networks and internet chat groups. Some people think this is good. Other think that face-to-face interaction is essential. v. 15
It is true that the role of the social interaction in the cyberspace has significantly risen. In addition to the growing social networking online, there is an increasing amount of social Apps with internet chats and even the text messaging between friends; this overall development has considerably diminished lively communication among the people. In my opinion, these changes are more for better than for worse in general. First of all, the rising technology in the internet communication saves the people a huge amount of time to concentrate on the lively encounter with the real friends. While, the chat groups allow people to communicate at a professional level and on working matters, the communication with friends online makes little sense. Moreover, the chat groups designed for communicating with friends may look a little bit hypocritical unless these friends do not live in the same city or a town. Although, the modern people have less time to meet up in person, the true friendship cannot proceed without seeing each other physically. For instance, the recent survey conducted by the Cyberspace Journal has shown that the online chat groups among the friends comprise only 10% of the professional chat groups. Secondly, different social networks, such as Facebook and Instagram, are more oriented on the people who never saw each other. Can these people be called friends or not? Even though they are marked as friends in a social app, these people are no real friends at all. Furthermore, having 100 friends is impossible by proxy. Unless the people do not meet regularly in the real life, this sort of friendship should be considered as a fake one. For example, in my Facebook list of so-called friends only 10% of them are the real friends whom I meet regularly. In conclusion, real interaction between the friends is largely important to keep a friendship. Provided that the new technologies make professional communication among different groups of people much easier, they still are very useful in keeping in touch with the friends who live in another geographical location.
It is true that the role of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
interaction in the cyberspace has
significantly
risen.
In addition
to the growing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
networking online, there is an increasing amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
Apps with internet
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
chats
and even the text messaging between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
; this
overall
development has
considerably
diminished lively
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
communication
among the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. In my opinion, these
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
are more for better than for worse
in general
.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, the rising technology in the internet
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
communication
saves the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
a huge amount of time to concentrate on the lively encounter with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
real
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
. While, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
chat
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
groups
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to communicate at a professional level and on working matters, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
communication
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
online
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
sense.
Moreover
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
chat
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
groups
designed for communicating with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
may look a
Reduce redundancy by using "little" or "bit".
little bit
hypocritical unless these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
do not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in the same city or a town. Although, the modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have less time to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
up in person, the true friendship cannot proceed without seeing each other
physically
.
For instance
, the recent survey conducted by the Cyberspace Journal has shown that the online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
chat
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
groups
among the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
comprise
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
10% of the professional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
chat
groups.

Secondly
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
networks, such as Facebook and Instagram, are more oriented on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who never
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
saw
each other. Can these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
be called
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
or not?
Even though
they
are marked
as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
app, these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are no
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
real
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
at all.
Furthermore
, having 100
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
is impossible by proxy. Unless the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
do not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
regularly
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
real
life, this sort of friendship should
be considered
as a fake one.
For example
, in my Facebook list of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
-called
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
10% of them are the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
real
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
whom I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
regularly
.

In conclusion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
real
interaction between the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
is
largely
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
a friendship. Provided that the new technologies
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
professional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
communication
among
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
groups
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
much easier, they
still
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
useful in keeping in touch with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in another geographical location.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
9Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
9Mistakes

IELTS essay Nowadays people make new friends through social networks and internet chat groups. Some people think this is good. Other think that face-to-face interaction is essential. v. 15

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
342 words
9
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 9.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 9.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 9.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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