Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

It is generally believed that some people are born with certain talents, for instance for sport or music and others are not. However, it is sometimes claimed that any child can be taught to become a good sports person or musician. Discuss both the views and give your opinion. v.5

It is generally believed that some people are born with certain talents, for instance for sport or music and others are not. However, it is sometimes claimed that any child can be taught to become a good sports person or musician. v. 5
Knowledge is something ingrained whereas wisdom has to be experienced by learning. There is a widespread notion which says that people can achieve success, only if they are blessed with talents. On the contrary, there are others who believe that, if one is trained enough in their interests, they can become successful in life, although they lack the talents. So, I opine that an ingrained talent is not always essential to excel in life. This essay will discuss in detail about how people achieved success in life despite they lacked capabilities. This essay will discuss both the views. On the one hand, there are certain personalities who have been successful in their life because they were blessed with certain intrinsic qualities. For example, Albert Einstein wherein he was able to contemplate several things right from quantum particles to unexplored galaxies in the universe. Einstein’s theories were analysed by various psychologists and they revealed that, Einstein was blessed with the additional functioning of neurons that helped him to perceive things which none of the humans could dream about. Therefore, he was considered as the father of Particle Physics. On the other hand, not everyone had become like Einstein. There are so many people who have become successful in life by their sheer hard work and unflinching interest to learn by which they beat all the stacks kept against their life and became successful. For example, Jeff Bezos the chief of Amazon Company had struggled in the early stages of his life to buy a computer or to write a computer program. His dedication towards learning did not deter his will. He enrolled to study computer science in Princeton University and from there his life took him towards a different direction. At first, he opened a small web retailer as his start-up. It grew traction and attracted a lot of interests among people, which led him to expand his business from selling products online till selling virtual workspaces to all the multinational giants. To recapitulate, being born with talent is a luxury which not all have been blessed with. However, becoming successful in life is an option that we have in our hands. Let’s open our hands with our full potential to design a better future as per our dreams and not by our talents.
Knowledge is something ingrained whereas wisdom
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
be experienced
by learning. There is a widespread notion which says that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can achieve success,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
if they
are blessed
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
talents
.
On the contrary
, there are others who believe that, if one
is trained
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
in their interests, they can become
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
successful
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
, although they lack the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
talents
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, I opine that an ingrained
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
talent
is not always essential to excel in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
. This essay will discuss in detail about how
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
achieved success in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
despite they lacked capabilities. This essay will discuss both the views.

On the one
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hand
, there are certain personalities who have been
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
successful
in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they
were blessed
with certain intrinsic qualities.
For example
, Albert
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Einstein
wherein he was able to contemplate several things right from quantum particles to unexplored galaxies in the universe.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Einstein’s
theories were
Possible spelling mistake. 'analysed' is British English.
analysed
by various
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
psychologists and
they revealed that,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Einstein
was blessed
with the additional functioning of neurons that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helped
him to perceive things which none of the humans could dream about.
Therefore
, he
was considered
as the father of Particle Physics.

On the other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hand
, not everyone had become like
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Einstein
. There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who have become
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
successful
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
by their sheer
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
work and unflinching interest to learn by which they beat all the stacks
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
kept
against their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
and became
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
successful
.
For example
, Jeff Bezos the chief of Amazon
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Company
had struggled in the early stages of his
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
a computer or to write a computer program. His dedication towards learning did not deter his will.
The usual collocation for "enrolled" is "in" (a school) or "for" (a course). Did you mean "He enrolled in" or "He enrolled for"?
He enrolled to
study computer science in Princeton University and from there his
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
took him towards a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
direction. At
first
, he opened a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
web retailer as his
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
-up. It grew traction and attracted
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
interests among
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, which led him to expand his business from selling products online till selling virtual workspaces to all the multinational giants.

To recapitulate,
being born
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
talent
is a luxury which not all have
been blessed
with.
However
, becoming
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
successful
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
is an option that we have in our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hands
.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Let
’s open our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hands
with our full potential to design a better future as per our dreams and not by our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
talents
.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
31Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes

IELTS essay It is generally believed that some people are born with certain talents, for instance for sport or music and others are not. However, it is sometimes claimed that any child can be taught to become a good sports person or musician. v. 5

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
383 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts