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It is generally believed that some people are born with certain talents, for instance for sport or music, and others are not. However, it is sometimes claimed that any child can be taught to become a good sports person or musician. Discuss both these vie v.13

It is generally believed that some people are born with certain talents, for instance for sport or music, and others are not. However, it is sometimes claimed that any child can be taught to become a good sports person or musician. 13
Nowadays, the relative importance of natural talent and training is a frequent and popular topic of debates, where people discuss the various levels of abilities in sport, art, or music. It is obvious, that education systems are based on belief than children can effectively be taught to acquire different skills, including those associated with sport, art, and music. So from our own school experience, we can find plenty evidence to support this thought, that any children can acquire these skills with continued training and practice. However, some people believe that innate talent is more essential factor that continued teaching. They think, that this differentiates talented people from those who has been trained to play sport or an instrument. In other words, there is more skill than a teaching technique, and this extra talent can not be taught, no matter how good the teacher an practices. My opinion is that some people have talents that are undoubtedly inherited via their genes. Such talent give individuals a facility for certain skills that allow them to excel, whereas others are more hard-working students, nevertheless they never manage to reach a comparable level. But, as with all questions of nature versus nurture, they are not mutually exclusive. Good musicians or artist have probably succeed because of both good training and innate talent. Without the natural talent, continuous training would be neither attractive nor productive, and without the training, people cannot improve and develop their talent. In conclusion, I agree that any child can be taught particular skills, but to be a be a real professional and good in areas such as music, art, or sport, then some natural talent is required.
Nowadays, the relative importance of natural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
talent
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
training
is a frequent and popular topic of debates, where
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
discuss the various levels of abilities in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
, art, or music.

It is obvious, that education systems
are based
on belief than children can
effectively
be taught
to acquire
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
, including those associated with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
, art, and music.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
from our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
school experience, we can find
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
plenty
evidence to support this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
, that any children can acquire these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
with continued
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
training
and practice.

However
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that innate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
talent
is more essential factor that continued teaching. They
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
, that this differentiates talented
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
from those who has
been trained
to play
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
or an instrument.
In other words
, there is more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skill
than a teaching technique, and this extra
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
talent
can not
be taught
, no matter how
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
the teacher
Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean "an practice" or simply "practices"?
an practices
.

My opinion is that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
talents
that are
undoubtedly
inherited via their genes. Such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
talent
give individuals a facility for certain
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
them to excel, whereas others are more
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
-working students,
nevertheless
they never manage to reach a comparable level.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
, as with all questions of nature versus nurture, they are not
mutually
exclusive.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Good
musicians or artist have
probably
Possible agreement error -- use past participle here: "succeeded".
succeed
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
training
and innate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
talent
. Without the natural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
talent
, continuous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
training
would be neither attractive nor productive, and without the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
training
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
cannot
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
and develop their talent.

In conclusion
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that any child can
be taught
particular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
to
This phrase is duplicated. You should probably leave only "be a".
be a be a
real professional and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
in areas such as music, art, or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
, then
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
natural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
talent
is required
.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
31Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes

IELTS essay It is generally believed that some people are born with certain talents, for instance for sport or music, and others are not. However, it is sometimes claimed that any child can be taught to become a good sports person or musician. 13

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
277 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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