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It is generally believed that some people are born with certain talents, for instance for sport or music, and others are not. However, it is sometimes claimed that any child can be taught to become a good sports person or musician. What is your opinion? v.10

It is generally believed that some people are born with certain talents, for instance for sport or music, and others are not. However, it is sometimes claimed that any child can be taught to become a good sports person or musician. What is your opinion? v. 10
People have different views about whether or not some people who are born with specific talents, such as sports or music? While it is often stated that some people who are born with such talents are usually easier in life, in my opinion, hard work is more important than talent, anyone can be taught to be a professional about sport or the arts. Many people on one side of this argument claim that some people were born with certain talents such as sport and art skills. They think that people who are born are talented, extremely intelligent and they can do what they want more easily than others. For example, there are young children who can draw an extremely beautiful picture without any training. This shows that the child is gifted in painting. However, it does not mean that the child will succeed in the arts field in the future if they do not cultivate those skills and training as others. On the other hand, I believe that effort and training can help a person become a genius in some field, even though they do not have that skills since they were born. Anyone can become professional in an area of their choice if they truly love it and strive for it. And especially they need a lot of time to practice, do it over and over until really well. For instance, Michael Jordan is the most famous basketball player in the world. As a child, he loved basketball and wanted to dedicate himself to professional basketball, but no coach wanted to accept him because he was too short. Nonetheless, Jordan continued to move forward and define success through all the failures he had experienced. To sum up, it seems to me that success will come to people when they really try and train, even if they don't have those talents. It is the results that indicate whether only those born with talent will succeed.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
views about
Consider shortening this phrase to just "whether". It is correct though if you mean 'regardless of whether'.
whether or not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
are born
with specific
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
talents
, such as sports or music? While it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
stated that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
are born
with such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
talents
are
usually
easier in life, in my opinion,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
work is more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
talent
, anyone can
be taught
to be a professional about sport or the arts.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
on one side of this argument claim that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
were born
with certain
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
talents
such as sport and art
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
. They
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
are born
are talented
,
extremely
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
intelligent and
they can do what they want more
easily
than others.
For example
, there are young children
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
can draw an
extremely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
beautiful
picture without any training. This
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
that the child
is gifted
in painting.
However
, it does not mean that the child will succeed in the arts field in the future if they do not cultivate those
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
and training as others.

On the other hand
, I believe that effort and training can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
a person become a genius in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
field,
even though
they do not have that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
since they
were born
. Anyone can become professional in an area of their choice if they
truly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
it and strive for it. And
especially
they need
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
time to practice, do it over and over until
really
well.
For instance
, Michael Jordan is the most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
basketball player in the world. As a child, he
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
loved
basketball and wanted to dedicate himself to professional basketball,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
no coach wanted to accept him
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
he was too short. Nonetheless, Jordan continued to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
forward and define success through all the failures he had experienced.

To sum up, it seems to me that success will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
when they
really
"Try and" is common in colloquial speech, but "try to" is recommended for writing.
try and
train, even if they don't have those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
talents
. It is the results that indicate whether
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
those born with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
talent
will succeed.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes

IELTS essay It is generally believed that some people are born with certain talents, for instance for sport or music, and others are not. However, it is sometimes claimed that any child can be taught to become a good sports person or musician. What is your opinion? v. 10

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
325 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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