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It is generally believed some people are born with certain talents, for instant for sport or music, and others are not. However, it is sometimes claimed that any child can be taught to become a good sports person or musician. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion v.1

It is generally believed some people are born with certain talents, for instant for sport or music, and others are not. However, it is sometimes claimed that any child can be taught to become a good sports person or musician. 1
There is an argument that children can be learned and performed as like talented people. Even though, people are born with talent do better than taught person, from my vantage point, I highly believe that humans can be trained. On the one hand, many people say that some talents like sport or music is gifted to some special people since they were born, so most ordinary people cannot be like them. To begin with, Thomas Edison said "the genius is made by 99percents of effort and 1percent of inspire" but normal people cannot have that 'the 1percent' usually. In addition, people who have the special gift, they only need shorter training than usual man. As a result, talented people train same time with ordinary people, they are faster then others. For example, we can see this in the story of Mozart and Salieri. On the other hand, some believe that ordinary people can be trained and do as special people. Firstly, most number of people in the world are not born with talent but they made good result as gifted people, sometimes better than them. For example, a Korean star football player named 'Ji-sung Park' was not very good player when he was young, however, now he is the most valuable player in the history of Korea with his efforts and hard training. Secondly, if only born talented people can be a star, which bring tryless world, because nobody want to try anything, Lastly, everyone do not need to be a superstar, if everyone is superstar, there is no superstar at all. In conclusion, although talented people to be a high level player easily, in my point of view, I convinced that anyone can be good with training.
There is an argument that children can
be learned
and performed as like
talented
people
.
Even though
,
people
are born
with talent do better than taught person, from my vantage point, I
highly
believe that humans can
be trained
.

On the one hand,
many
people
say that
some
talents like sport or music
is gifted
to
some
special
people
since they
were born
,
so
most ordinary
people
cannot be like them. To
begin
with, Thomas Edison said
"
the genius
is made
by 99percents of effort and 1percent of inspire
"
but
normal
people
cannot have that 'the 1percent'
usually
.
In addition
,
people
who have the special gift, they
only
need shorter training than usual
man
.
As a result
,
talented
people
train same time with ordinary
people
, they are
faster then
others.
For example
, we can
see
this in the story of Mozart and
Salieri
.

On the other hand
,
some
believe that ordinary
people
can
be trained
and do as special
people
.
Firstly
, most number of
people
in the world are not born with talent
but
they made
good
result as gifted
people
,
sometimes
better than them.
For example
, a Korean star football
player
named '
Ji-sung
Park' was not
very
good
player
when he was young,
however
,
now
he is the most valuable
player
in the history of Korea with his efforts and
hard
training.
Secondly
, if
only
born
talented
people
can be a star, which bring
tryless
world,
because
nobody
want
to try anything,
Lastly
, everyone
do
not need to be a superstar, if everyone is superstar, there is no superstar at all.

In conclusion
, although
talented
people
to be a high level
player
easily
, in my point of view, I convinced that anyone can be
good
with training.
12Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
23Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
9Mistakes

IELTS essay It is generally believed some people are born with certain talents, for instant for sport or music, and others are not. However, it is sometimes claimed that any child can be taught to become a good sports person or musician. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
288 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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