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Today more and more tourists are visiting places where conditions are different, such as the Sahara desert or the Antarctic. What are the benefits and disadvantages for tourists who visit such places? v.1

Today more and more tourists are visiting places where conditions are different, such as the Sahara desert or the Antarctic. What are the benefits and disadvantages for tourists who visit such places? v. 1
International tourist arrivals have been increasing year by year according to the popularity of tourism industry and exploration of new tourist attractions. In these days and ages, the trend of people’s travelling has been changing from visiting to cultural and historical areas into travelling exotic and extraordinary places by means of adventure tourism. In this essay, I will point out the advantages and drawbacks for tourists doing such kind of tourism. Travelling to remote areas with different conditions can bring benefits not only to the tourists but also to the local community. For example, some of the far areas are still underdeveloped in social and economic contexts compared with urban areas. In accordance with the development of tourism in such places, there can be easily accessible to those areas and the living standard of local residents can be higher. As for the tourists, they can enjoy new exciting experience and learn new different cultures. On the other hand, there can be drawbacks concerned with the safety and security if people travel to those places. Some of the places such as Antarctic are suffering from severe weather conditions. Furthermore, as these places are far away from residential areas, there is no rescue for emergency case when natural disasters and accidents happen. In conclusion, as people today are more likely to take risks and discover new things, travelling to extraordinary places may become popular as a trend to enjoy the sense of excitement. From my point of view, it is necessary to take consideration personal safety and security and to do well-preparation before travelling
International
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourist
arrivals have been increasing year by year according to the popularity of tourism industry and exploration of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourist
attractions. In these days and ages, the trend of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travelling
has been changing from visiting to cultural and historical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
into
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travelling
exotic and extraordinary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
by means of adventure tourism. In this essay, I will point out the advantages and drawbacks for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourists
doing such kind of tourism.

Travelling to remote
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
conditions can bring benefits not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourists
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
to the local community.
For example
,
If the text is a generality, 'of the' is not necessary. Did you mean "some"?
some of the
far
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
are
still
underdeveloped in social and economic contexts compared with urban
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
. In accordance with the development of tourism in such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
, there can be
easily
accessible to those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
and the living standard of local residents can be higher. As for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourists
, they can enjoy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
exciting experience and learn
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
cultures.

On the other hand
, there can be drawbacks concerned with the safety and security if
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
travel to those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
.
If the text is a generality, 'of the' is not necessary. Did you mean "some"?
Some of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
such as Antarctic are suffering from severe weather conditions.
Furthermore
, as these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
are far away from residential
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
, there is no rescue for emergency case when natural disasters and accidents happen.

In conclusion
, as
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
are more likely to take
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risks
and discover
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
things,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travelling
to extraordinary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
may become popular as a trend to enjoy the sense of excitement. From my point of view, it is necessary to take consideration personal safety and security and to do well-preparation
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
travelling
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
25Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes

IELTS essay Today more and more tourists are visiting places where conditions are different, such as the Sahara desert or the Antarctic. What are the benefits and disadvantages for tourists who visit such places? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
261 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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