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Some people believe that eventually all jobs will be done by artificially intelligent robots. What is your opinions? v.7

Some people believe that eventually all jobs will be done by artificially intelligent robots. What is your opinions? v. 7
These days, human are being progressively replaced by artificial intelligent robots in the workshop. Thought it was possible that all the physicals, unskilled works will require a machine, it is impossible to perform work those deals with precise skilled and human feelings. This essay will demonstrate only minor labours will be performed by the humans Eventually, all the works that do not need any specific knowledge, but only require labour will be mechanized by the android. Many factories and companies believed that if those menial jobs are denied by the automatic machine, it could save both time and money rather than spending upon hiring, training and employing human. In restaurants in Nepal, for instance, many waiters and cashiers have been replaced by artificial machines that consume less money. Furthermore, those artificial robots can perform duties all day and night without any rest and salary, so that human labour will be changed with robotic intelligence, if only it doesn't need any sort of skilled to perform toil. On the contrary, there are certain jobs that can't be replaced by robots because man-made robots can never reach into the real human's brain. In a simple way, to do such as doctor, medicines and social work, ones must have both skilled and emotions, which is absent in artificial robots. Unless, those works are not done by skilled human, it cannot be satisfied. Hence, robots will never be able to achieve those skills of human which has existed in human's brain. Highly sophisticated, complex works will always need human skills, however the unskilled tasks will be done by robots. For these reasons only few chores will be available for human in today's world. It is most likely that the machines will continue its employment by replacing human in most tasks.
These days,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
are being
progressively
replaced by artificial intelligent robots in the workshop.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Thought
it was possible that all the physicals, unskilled works will require a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
machine
, it is impossible to perform
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
those deals with precise
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skilled
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
feelings. This essay will demonstrate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
only
minor
Possible spelling mistake. 'labours' is British English.
labours
will
be performed
by the
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
humans


Eventually
, all the works that do not need any specific knowledge,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
only
require
Possible spelling mistake. 'labour' is British English.
labour
will
be mechanized
by the android.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
factories and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
believed that if those menial jobs
are denied
by the automatic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
machine
, it could save both time and money
rather
than spending upon hiring, training and employing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
. In restaurants in Nepal,
for instance
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
waiters and cashiers have
been replaced
by artificial
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
machines
that consume less money.
Furthermore
, those artificial robots can perform duties all day and night without any rest and salary,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
Possible spelling mistake. 'labour' is British English.
labour
will be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
with robotic intelligence, if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
only
it doesn't need any sort of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skilled
to perform toil.

On the contrary
, there are certain jobs that can't
be replaced
by robots
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
man
-made robots can never reach into the real human's brain.
Consider replacing "In a simple way" with the adverb for "simple"; e.g., "in a hasty manner" with "hastily".
In a simple way
, to do such as doctor, medicines and social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
, ones
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
have both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skilled
and emotions, which is absent in artificial robots. Unless, those works are not done by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skilled
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
, it cannot
be satisfied
.
Hence
, robots will never be able to achieve those
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
which has existed in human's brain.

Highly
sophisticated, complex works will always need
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
,
however
the unskilled tasks will
be done
by robots. For these reasons
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
only
few chores will be available for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
's world. It is most likely that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
machines
will continue its employment by replacing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
in most tasks.
6Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
23Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Mistakes
Learning a new language is becoming a member of the club – the community of speakers of that language.
Frank Smith

IELTS essay Some people believe that eventually all jobs will be done by artificially intelligent robots. What is your opinions? v. 7

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
296 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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