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It is generally accepted that smoking causes the deaths of large number of people. In order to address this problem governments should bans smoking in public places. To what extend do you agree or disagree? v.2

It is generally accepted that smoking causes the deaths of large number of people. In order to address this problem governments should bans smoking in public places. v. 2
We live in contemporary modern world, where smoking is considered as a trend to enhance one' s charisma. However, disastrous effects from acitve and passive smoking can not be overlooked. I firmly agree with the statement government should impose stringent rules especially ban or outrageous fine to eradicate the dangerous effect of passive smoking on public. I would like to elaborate my point with following reasons: It is well known fact that passive smoking is considered equally harmful as active smoking. For instance, when a person smoke a cigarette the nicotin exhaled certainly inahled by people surrounding that area, including children. However, nicotin deposition in lungs alveoli causes hardening of cell and thereby reduces elasticity of lungs to expand. This can give rise of symptoms such as troubled breathing, muscle pain, clubbing, cyanosis and interfere in the process of oxygenation. Eventually, chronic exposure to these harmful gases may lead to lung cancer that is most uncurable type of malignant cancer. As a result, to save life of innocent young ones and individuals government should forbid smoking. Another reasons that deserves attention creation of smoking free environment can lead to awakening in youth. It is universal sayng, that amateur adolsecents have higher proclivity to learn from surrounding environment. However, they might not develop habit of smoking and free from deadly dieases. For example, last when week I went to a restaurant named Cheesecake factory, I saw a board of no smoking hanging on a wall. People strictly followed that in order to maintain camaraderie and after realizing about adverse effects, as it also included ill effects cause from smoking. This is certainly initiative step by owner to create healthy atmoshphere for all consumers. Thus, by formulating necessary rules andregulations government can deter people from developing obsession with smoking. In conclusion, government should bann smoking in places such as parks, restaurants, office and other tourist attractions places to plummet the number of people suffering from malignant type of lung cancer
We
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in contemporary modern world, where
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smoking
is considered
as a trend

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
to
enhance
Possible spelling mistake found.
one&
#039; s charisma.
However
, disastrous effects from
Possible spelling mistake found.
acitve
and passive

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
smoking
can not
be overlooked
. I
firmly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the statement
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
should
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
impose


stringent
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
especially
ban or outrageous fine to eradicate the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous


This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
effect
of passive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smoking
on public. I would like to elaborate my point
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
with


following reasons:

It is well known fact that passive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smoking
is considered
equally
harmful as

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
active
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smoking
.
For instance
, when a person
Possible agreement error - use third-person verb forms for singular and mass nouns: "smokes".
smoke
a cigarette the
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
nicotin


This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
exhaled
certainly
Possible spelling mistake found.
inahled
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
surrounding that area, including children.

However
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
nicotin
deposition in lungs alveoli causes hardening of cell and thereby

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
reduces
elasticity of lungs to expand. This can give rise of symptoms such
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
as


This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
troubled
breathing, muscle pain, clubbing, cyanosis and interfere in the process of oxygenation.

Eventually
, chronic exposure to these harmful gases may lead to lung cancer
that is
most

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
uncurable
type of malignant cancer.
As a result
, to save life of innocent
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
young


This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
ones
and individuals
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
should forbid smoking.

Another reasons that deserves attention creation of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smoking
free

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
environment
can lead to awakening in youth. It is universal
Possible spelling mistake found.
sayng
,
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
that


amateur
Possible spelling mistake found.
adolsecents
have higher proclivity to learn from surrounding

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
environment
.
However
, they might not develop habit of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smoking
and free from

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
deadly
Possible spelling mistake found.
dieases
.
For example
, last when week I went to a restaurant named
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
Cheesecake


This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
factory
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
saw
a board of no
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smoking
hanging on a wall.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
strictly
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
followed


that in order to maintain camaraderie and after realizing about adverse effects, as it
also


This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
included
ill effects cause from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smoking
. This is
certainly
initiative step by
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
owner


This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
to
create healthy
Possible spelling mistake found.
atmoshphere
for all consumers.
Thus
, by formulating necessary

This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
Possible spelling mistake found.
andregulations
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
can deter
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
from developing

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
obsession
with smoking.

In conclusion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
should
Possible spelling mistake found.
bann
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smoking
in places such as parks, restaurants, office and other tourist

Possible agreement error. You should probably use: "attraction places".
attractions places
to plummet the number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
suffering from malignant type of

lung cancer
0Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
17Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
37Mistakes

IELTS essay It is generally accepted that smoking causes the deaths of large number of people. In order to address this problem governments should bans smoking in public places. v. 2

Essay
  American English
29 paragraphs
327 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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