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It is commonly believed that in life, success is not the most important thing: it is more important to remain happy and optimistic when we fall. Do agree with that idea? v.2

It is commonly believed that in life, success is not the most important thing: it is more important to remain happy and optimistic when we fall. Do agree with that idea? v. 2
It is generally agreed today that staying happy and optimistic when we fail is more important than success. Let us consider what advantages and disadvantages of the optimism attitude are. And contrast them with pros and cons of the success. So we can see the big picture and understand the top choice of the claim. The first thing that needs to be said is optimistic attitude in today world proclaimed the high priority attitude in life. There are numerous studies that explain one side of a coin. Optimism is better because it is decreasing the stress levels and increasing the quality of human life. The less stress a person has the healthier him or her become. From the other hand, it is vague opinion, people who are big optimists they usually don’t work too hard; they feel lucky to have what they have. They don’t raise their bars, and keep their limits to rule their life. I disagree with that position in life because every human being should pursue a better job, better status, and better goals, than just agree what he has and stop improvement in anything. If people would stop developing themselves, our species disappear from the earth long time ago. Only by developing our skills and minds we will thrive and be able to maintain our society in balance. It is true that being an optimist is better than pessimist but only if it help people to recover from failure and push them farther. Successful people are those who would sacrifice their health if it needs. They are eager to achieve their goal no matter the cause. They usually work harder than everybody else; they always stay ahead and keep their speed. Successful people take their failures as experience and learn from their mistakes how to get a better result. Those who consider success the most important thing in the world are achieving more than others. And it is not about optimism it is about their attitude to work and about their character. I think success is the more important than optimism. When I was a student and I got a bad grade for my assignment I was angry on myself and worked harder and eventually I received the best grade in the class. I was not optimistic because it could stop me from putting more efforts and just agreeing to the evaluation. I wanted to be the best student and I was thanks to my attitude and character. To draw the conclusion, one can say that optimism is better, but I hold different opinion. Success is the key to better life and people who pursue it get far than those who have optimistic sight on everything.
It is
generally
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agreed
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
that staying happy and optimistic when we fail is more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
success
.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Let
us consider what advantages and disadvantages of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
optimism
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
attitude
are. And contrast them with pros and cons of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
success
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
we can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
picture and understand the top choice of the claim.

The
first
thing that needs to
be said
is optimistic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
attitude
in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
world proclaimed the high priority
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
attitude
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
. There are numerous studies that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
one side of a coin.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Optimism
is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it is decreasing the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
levels and increasing the quality of human
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
. The less
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
a person has the healthier him or her become. From the other hand, it is vague opinion,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
optimists they
usually
don’t work too
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
; they feel lucky to have what they have. They don’t raise their bars, and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
their limits to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rule
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
. I disagree with that position in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
every human being should pursue a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
job,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
status, and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
goals, than
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
what he has and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stop
improvement in anything. If
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stop
developing themselves, our species disappear from the earth long time ago.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Only
by developing our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
and minds we will thrive and be able to maintain our society in balance.

It is true that being an optimist is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
than pessimist
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
if it
Did you mean "helps"?
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to recover from failure and push them farther. Successful
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
would sacrifice their health if it needs. They are eager to achieve their goal no matter the cause. They
usually
work harder than everybody else; they always stay ahead and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
their speed. Successful
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
take their failures as experience and learn from their mistakes how to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
result. Those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
consider
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
success
the most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
thing in the world are achieving more than others. And it is not about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
optimism
it is about their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
attitude
to work and about their character. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
success
is the more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
optimism
. When I was a student and I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
grade for my assignment I was angry on myself and worked harder and
eventually
I received the best grade in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
. I was not optimistic
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stop
me from putting more efforts and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
agreeing to the evaluation. I wanted to be the best
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
student and
I was thanks to my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
attitude
and character.

To draw the conclusion, one can say that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
optimism
is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
I hold
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
opinion.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Success
is the key to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
pursue it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
far than those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
have optimistic sight on everything.
4Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
39Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS essay It is commonly believed that in life, success is not the most important thing: it is more important to remain happy and optimistic when we fall. Do agree with that idea? v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
450 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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