Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Some people think the government should pay for healthcare and education but other people claim that it is the individual s responsibility Discuss both views and give your opinion v.1

Some people think the government should pay for healthcare and education but other people claim that it is the individual s responsibility 1
In recent decades, healthcare and education are attracting a great deal of public attention due to its substantial impacts on humankind’s development. Although the proposal of governmental responsibility for healthcare and education sounds reasonable, it think citizens should pay for these services. On the one hand, there are several reasons why the government should pay for healthcare and education. First, Thanks to the governmental financial benefits, Low-income individuals who can not afford the hospital expenses can have their serious diseases eradicated. For example those diagnosed with cancers or some chronic conditions could freely use surgical procedures and purchase prescription medicines without worrying about the money. Second, If the government pay for the tuition fees, Citizens in poverty-stricken areas could experience a more standardised and progressive learning environment. This would promote their employment prospects, which is an antidote to the unemployment burdens. On the other hand, Individuals should be liable for their healthcare and education. First, In some developing nations, hospitals’ facilities and practitioners’s medical skills do not satisfy the international requirements. This means that Individuals should go abroad for a more advanced treatment and incur the hospital fees themselves, which could act as a contributor to their conditions’ eradication. In condition, Independence from government would incentivise citizens to follow some privately-owed educational institutions. In fact these schools would teach a more empirical knowledge and equip students with practical academic skills than state-owned ones. In conclusion, I believe that healthcare and education should be of individuals’ liability due to some broad-based benefits. The governments are highly-recommended to only upgrade the hospital’s facilities and improve the education systems.
In recent decades, healthcare and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
are attracting a great deal of public attention due to its substantial impacts on humankind’s development. Although the proposal of governmental responsibility for healthcare and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
sounds reasonable, it
Did you mean "thinks"?
think
citizens should pay for these services.

On the one hand, there are several reasons why the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
should pay for healthcare and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
.
First
, Thanks to the governmental financial benefits, Low-income
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
who can not afford the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hospital
expenses can have their serious diseases eradicated.
For example
those diagnosed with cancers or
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
chronic conditions could
freely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
surgical procedures and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
prescription medicines without worrying about the money. Second, If the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
pay for the tuition fees, Citizens in poverty-stricken areas could experience a more
Possible spelling mistake. 'standardised' is British English.
standardised
and progressive learning environment. This would promote their employment prospects, which is an antidote to the unemployment burdens.

On the other hand
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Individuals
should be liable for their healthcare and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
.
First
, In
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
developing nations,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hospitals’
facilities and
Did you mean "practitioner’s" or "practitioners’"?
practitioners’s
medical
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
do not satisfy the international requirements. This means that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Individuals
should go abroad for a more advanced treatment and incur the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hospital
fees themselves, which could act as a contributor to their conditions’ eradication. In condition, Independence from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
would
Possible spelling mistake. 'incentivise' is British English.
incentivise
citizens to follow
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
privately
-owed educational institutions. In fact these schools would teach a more empirical knowledge and equip students with practical academic
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
than state-
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
owned
ones.

Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
In
conclusion, I believe that healthcare and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
should be of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals’
liability due to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
broad-based benefits. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
are
highly
-recommended to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
upgrade the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hospital’s
facilities and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
systems.
5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
18Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people think the government should pay for healthcare and education but other people claim that it is the individual s responsibility 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
266 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts