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It is claimed that only the government and big corporations have the power to improving and developing the environment, while there are no ways how individuals can influence positively on nature. v.1

It is claimed that only the government and big corporations have the power to improving and developing the environment, while there are no ways how individuals can influence positively on nature. v. 1
It is claimed that only the government and big corporations have the power to improving and developing the environment, while there are no ways how individuals can influence positively on nature. I strongly disagree with this statement, because in my opinion, one person can do as much for the environment as the government and big companies. On the one hand, the government and corporations have an enormous number of opportunities to improve the surrounding environment compared to one person. For example, in Norway, there was a significant increase in car prices and vehicle ownership taxes in 2010. The main purpose of those actions was an attempt to decline the number of cars on the road, hence decrease carbon emissions in the atmosphere end to prevent "greenhouse effect". With regard to the impact of large corporations, they can develop a way of waste utilisations and thereby decline the negative effect on nature. On the other hand, every person makes decisions every day that can influence on the environment. For instance, instead of using plastic bags for shopping, it would less harmful for the environment to use paper bags or packs made of biodegradable material. Furthermore, every person can use a bicycle to get to work rather than public transport, which will have a positive impact not only on nature but also on health. Such small routine steps can help to save nature for future generations. In conclusion, I believe that big positive changes in the world start from the small steps made by every individual.
It
is claimed
that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
corporations have the power to improving and developing the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
, while there are no ways how individuals can influence
positively
on nature. I
strongly
disagree with this statement,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
in my opinion, one
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
can do as much for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
as the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
.

On the one hand, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
and corporations have an enormous number of opportunities to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
the surrounding
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
compared to one
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
.
For example
, in Norway, there was a significant increase in car prices and vehicle ownership taxes in 2010. The main purpose of those actions was an attempt to decline the number of cars on the road,
hence
decrease carbon emissions in the atmosphere
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
Use a smart opening quote here: "“".
"
greenhouse effect
Use a smart closing quote here: "”".
"
. With regard to the impact of large corporations, they can develop a way of waste
Possible spelling mistake found.
utilisations
and thereby decline the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
effect on nature.

On the other hand
, every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
decisions every day that can influence on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
.
For instance
,
instead
of using plastic bags for shopping, it would less harmful for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
paper bags or packs made of biodegradable material.
Furthermore
, every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
a bicycle to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
to work
rather
than public transport, which will have a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
impact not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
on nature
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
on health. Such
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
routine steps can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to save nature for future generations.

In conclusion
, I believe that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
in the world
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
from the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
steps made by every individual.
10Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
9Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes

IELTS essay It is claimed that only the government and big corporations have the power to improving and developing the environment, while there are no ways how individuals can influence positively on nature. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
254 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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