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It is better to use your own knowledge and experience to solve problems than to seek advice from others. v.2

It is better to use your own knowledge and experience to solve problems than to seek advice from others. v. 2
Some people say that it' s more effective to ask for advice and seek for counsels when they face problems in their life. However, in my opinion, it' s better to take pains by oneself rather than wasting energy on elsewhere. This is because normally people don' t care about what others are suffering from, and also because asking for advice often takes a lot of time and energy and results are trivial. First, it' s difficult for most of the people to understand and comprehend what others are thinking and feeling. And there is also a factor that some might not want to get involved in your problem. For example, I had a perplexed time in the fall semester of 2015 because I felt like that one of professors from my class was bullying me often. But because the bullying was so subtle and delicate, it took more than a month for me to realize it. After grasping the situation, I asked my friends about how they think about the professor. But because they didn' t want to get involved in troublesome, they avoided direct advice toward the problem. As a result, there was no other way but to fight alone. And all things eventually ended up well. But during this period of time, I kind of lost faith in other' s favor. Instead, I just found out that they act according to their needs. Second, Asking advice takes a lot of time and energy, and the result is not very satisfactory. To be specific, deciding which person to ask and what question to inquire themselves are a full job to do. There is a research about letting chemistry majoring students solving the same task in different methods. A half of group formed a 3 project group and the rest of half stayed ungrouped. It turned out as a matter of fact that when teachers were not involved, there was no valid gap between the former and the later group on their academic grade and performance assessment. This show that students collaborating is not as effective as expected. To sum up, there is no one in the world that actually understands other people' s problem, and getting advice from those uninterested others often ends up wasting time and energy. In this regard, I think it' s better to seek an answer to a certain problem by oneself, rather than asking this and that person about how and what to do for my problem.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
say that
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it&
#039; s more effective to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ask for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advice
and seek for counsels when they face
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
in their life.
However
, in my opinion,
Possible spelling mistake found.
it&
#039; s better to take pains by oneself
rather
than wasting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
energy
on elsewhere. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
normally
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
Possible spelling mistake found.
don&
#039; t care about what others are suffering from, and
also
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
asking for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advice
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
takes
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
energy
and results are trivial.

First
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
it&
#039; s difficult for most of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to understand and comprehend what others are thinking and feeling. And there is
also
a factor that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
might not want to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
involved in your
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
.
For example
, I had a perplexed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
in the fall semester of 2015
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
I felt like that one of professors from my
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
was bullying me
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the bullying was
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
subtle and delicate, it took more than a month for me to realize it. After grasping the situation, I asked my friends about how they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
about the professor.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they
Possible spelling mistake found.
didn&
#039; t want to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
involved in troublesome, they avoided direct
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advice
toward the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
.
As a result
, there was no
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
way
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
to fight alone. And all things
eventually
ended up well.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
during this period of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
, I kind of lost faith in
Possible spelling mistake found.
other&
#039; s favor.
Instead
, I
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
found out that they act according to their needs.

Second, Asking
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advice
takes
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
energy
, and the result is not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
satisfactory. To be specific, deciding which person to ask and what question to inquire themselves are a full job to do. There is
Uncountable nouns are usually not used with an indefinite article. Use simply "research".
a research
about letting chemistry majoring students solving the same task in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
methods. A half of group formed a 3 project group and the rest of half stayed ungrouped. It turned out as a matter of fact that when teachers were not involved, there was no valid gap between the former and the later group on their academic grade and performance assessment. This
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
that students collaborating is not as effective as
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
expected
.

To sum up, there is no one in the world that actually understands
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
Possible spelling mistake found.
people&
#039; s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
, and getting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advice
from those uninterested others
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
ends up wasting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
energy
. In this regard, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
Possible spelling mistake found.
it&
#039; s better to seek an answer to a certain
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
by oneself,
rather
than asking this and that person about how and what to do for my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
.
10Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
27Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
9Mistakes
Language is to the mind more than light is to the eye.
William Gibson

IELTS essay It is better to use your own knowledge and experience to solve problems than to seek advice from others. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
414 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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