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Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? It is better to have friends who are intelligent than to have friends who have a good sense of humor. v.257

It is better to have friends who are intelligent than to have friends who have a good sense of humor. v. 257
A person’s appearance affects the way other people think about them and how they view themselves. Individuals throw away increased quantity of time and money on clothes, hairstyles and make up to change the way they look. This essay will discuss if it’s important for people to worry about their physical image and what effects it has. External features are significant in receiving respect in today’s world. Firstly, people, treats you for the way you’re presenting yourself, such as, what clothes and shoes you’re wearing. For example, some jobs require physical interaction with customers and other members of the society and in such cases; a good personal appearance is expected. In addition, it increases the self-confidence. If you’re looking good and others view you as someone superior, it boosts up your confidence and you perform better. To illustrate, only well-dressed students were allowed to stand on stage for the National anthem at St. Paul’s school. However, focusing only on physical image can have some negative impacts. Firstly, people forget about the importance of the inner beauty of oneself such as kindness. Additionally, in an attempt to look better than others and presentable, some people make choices that are harmful to health. For example, Michael Jackson underwent 16 surgeries to change the colour of his skin and eventually had a negative impact on his health. In conclusion, some people spend a large amount of money on materialistic things such as clothes, makeup and hairstyles. This essay discussed the importance of physical appearance at work and social life. However, some people can become too concerned about their image and lead them to neglect other aspects of their lives.
A person’s appearance affects the way
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
about them and how they view themselves. Individuals throw away increased quantity of time and money on clothes, hairstyles and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
up to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
the way they look. This essay will discuss if it’s
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to worry about their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
image and what effects it has.

External features are significant in receiving respect in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
’s world.
Firstly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, treats you for the way you’re presenting yourself, such as, what clothes and shoes you’re wearing.
For example
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
jobs require
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
interaction with customers and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
members of the society and in such cases; a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
personal appearance is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
expected
.
In addition
, it increases the self-confidence. If you’re looking
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
and others
view you as someone superior, it boosts up your confidence and you perform better. To illustrate,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
well-dressed students were
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
allowed
to stand on stage for the National anthem at St. Paul’s school.

However
, focusing
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
image can have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impacts.
Firstly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
forget about the importance of the inner beauty of oneself such as kindness.
Additionally
, in an attempt to look better than others and presentable,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
choices that are harmful to health.
For example
, Michael Jackson underwent 16 surgeries to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
the
Possible spelling mistake. 'colour' is British English.
colour
of his skin and
eventually
had a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impact on his health.

In conclusion
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
spend a large amount of money on materialistic things such as clothes, makeup and hairstyles. This essay discussed the importance of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
appearance at work and social life.
However
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can become too concerned about their image and lead them to neglect
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
aspects of their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay It is better to have friends who are intelligent than to have friends who have a good sense of humor. v. 257

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
276 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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