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It is better for college students to live far away from home than live at home with their parents. To what extent do you agree? v.6

It is better for college students to live far away from home than live at home with their parents. v. 6
In the current day scenario, it is better for college scholars to reside far away from their home than to live with their parents. I partially agree with this statement since moving out has its own pros and cons. The first and foremost advantage of staying away has been independent since living away from parents makes you more self-sufficient and confident. For instance, the parents pay the tuition fee, give allowances for whims and prepare dinner, but, once a person starts living away, he has to handle everything on his own. Therefore, it teaches a person to face hardships that life throws at him while making him more mature leading to personal growth. Secondly, living away also comes along with less restrictive environment as there is no one to tell us what to do or ask for permission, consequently, leaving our life in our own hands while making us accountable for our actions. For example, if an individual party all night and sleeps late, he has to wake up on his own in the morning for college since there is no one to do so. Thus, having own privacy doesn’t always mean negative and can make a person more responsible. On the other hand, living away has its own downside in the form of lack of safety. To illustrate, a girl who has just shifted to an unfamiliar place has to take extra care of her security as she is more vulnerable to threats and mishaps due to her limited knowledge and experience of the area. Hence, sometimes, it may not be a good idea to start living without any assistance since it may land one’s self into uncalled trouble. In conclusion, it is evident that everyone has their own struggles when it comes to moving out and their own ways to deal with them. For some, moving out may be a little easier while others may face issues, however, it can be a great learning and memorable experience.
In the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
day scenario, it is better for college scholars to reside far
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
away
from their home than to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
with their parents. I
partially
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this statement since moving out has its
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
pros and cons.

The
first
and foremost advantage of staying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
away
has been independent since
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
away
from parents
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
you more self-sufficient and confident.
For instance
, the parents pay the tuition fee, give allowances for whims and prepare dinner,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
, once a person
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
starts
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
away
, he
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
handle everything on his
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
.
Therefore
, it teaches a person to face hardships that life throws at him while making him more mature leading to personal growth.

Secondly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
away
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
along with less restrictive environment as there is no one to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
tell
us what to do or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ask for
permission,
consequently
, leaving our life in our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
hands while making us accountable for our actions.
For example
, if an individual party all night and sleeps late, he
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
wake up on his
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
in the morning for college since there is no one to do
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
.
Thus
, having
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
privacy doesn’t always mean
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
and can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a person more responsible.

On the other hand
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
away
has its
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
downside in the form of lack of safety. To illustrate, a girl who has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
shifted to an unfamiliar place
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
take extra care of her security as she is more vulnerable to threats and mishaps due to her limited knowledge and experience of the area.
Hence
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
, it may not be a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
without any assistance since it may land one’s self into uncalled trouble.

In conclusion
, it is evident that everyone has their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
struggles when it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
to moving out and their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
ways to deal with them. For
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
, moving out may be a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
easier while others may face issues,
however
, it can be a great learning and memorable experience.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes

IELTS essay It is better for college students to live far away from home than live at home with their parents. v. 6

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
329 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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