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It is better for college students to live far away from home than live at home with their parents. Do you agree or disagree? v.16

It is better for college students to live far away from home than live at home with their parents. v. 16
Many students are faced with the dilemma of whether to live in a university dormitory or at home with parents. From my perspective, a dormitory is evidently the better option for most students. On the one hand, there is a common belief that living with parents is better for students’ personal development. People may argue that students living at home may fully concentrate on their academic study because their parents would normally support them in other activities, such as doing household tasks. However, it is irrefutable that in this way, some students may become over-reliant on their parents in most of their daily activities, and thus lose the ability of living independently in the future. By contrast, students who live in dormitories have to take care of themselves in all aspects of life. Therefore, they may acquire the vital skills of a self-reliant person, ranging from financial management and problem solving to meal planning and home management, all of which are essential to foster the all-round personal development of this group of students. On the other hand, there are several distinct advantages of choosing on-campus residences. The most evident advantage is that students who choose this type of accommodation would have extremely easy access to libraries and various learning sources that are readily available at school. Another obvious benefit is that those living in a students’ residence are exposed to a diverse environment with people from various social and cultural backgrounds. From this, students are better prepared to live in this multi-cultural world. From the issues outlined above, one can conclude that living inside the school campus is apparently a better choice than living at home with parents.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
are faced
with the dilemma of whether to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in a university dormitory or at home with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
. From my perspective, a dormitory is
evidently
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
option for most students.

On the one hand, there is a common belief that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students’
personal development.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
may argue that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
at home may
fully
concentrate on their academic study
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
would
normally
support them in other activities, such as doing household tasks.
However
, it is irrefutable that in this way,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
may become over-reliant on their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
in most of their daily activities, and
thus
lose the ability of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
independently
in the future. By contrast,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in dormitories
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
take care of themselves in all aspects of life.
Therefore
, they may acquire the vital
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
of a self-reliant person, ranging from financial management and problem solving to meal planning and home management, all of which are essential to foster the all-round personal development of this group of students.

On the other hand
, there are several distinct advantages of choosing on-campus residences. The most evident advantage is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
who choose this type of accommodation would have
extremely
easy access to libraries and various learning sources that are
readily
available at school. Another obvious benefit is that those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students’
residence
are exposed
to a diverse environment with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
from various social and cultural backgrounds. From this,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
prepared to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in this multi-cultural world.

From the issues outlined above, one can conclude that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
inside the school campus is
apparently
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
choice than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
at home with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
.
5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
23Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Mistakes

IELTS essay It is better for college students to live far away from home than live at home with their parents. v. 16

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
278 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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