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Nowadays, longer distances are traveled by people to work and study on a daily basis. Some considered it to be a negative development. While others disagree. Discuss both views and give your own opinion. v.3

Nowadays, longer distances are traveled by people to work and study on a daily basis. Some considered it to be a negative development. While others disagree. v. 3
In today’s world, it is not uncommon that more and more passengers are obliged to travel long haul distances either for education or for work daily. While some people are concerned about this trend as it is desperately time and energy consuming, others, myself included, believe that such trips are of great value to people as providing them with new opportunities. On the one hand, it is argued that devastating consequences might occur to those people who are forced to commute ceaselessly for the purposes of study or work. In fact, the root reason for this allegation is that these long journeys waste simultaneously a great deal of time and energy. Under this circumstance, it is highly likely that some people are gradually suffering from boredom and fatigue, leading to become reluctant to pursue their objectives which plays a pivotal role in their future development. For instance, it comes as no surprise that some students drop out of their universities, or some employees resign their positions because it is virtually impossible to tolerate these kinds of trips frequently, Consequently, there is a possibility that these people face numerous dilemmas after making such decisions. On the other hand, I am of the opinion that although long trips consume a lot of time and energy, people would reap manifold benefits. In fact, what long distance travel does is to give people new chances in both education and work. For example, a job seeker who becomes frustrated to be recruited in their hometown is probable to find a lucrative job in a suburb. Another illustration of this might be that a student is able to apply for a particular subject offered in a university in the country. In both two cases, people can fulfil their ambitions as they assure that by relying on modern transport, these remote areas become accessible. As a result, personal development is not far-fetched, even though physical barriers exist. In conclusion, in recent years, a matter of debate is whether it is beneficial for folks to commute daily for the aim of study or work or not. However, I concur with those tend to believe that the merits of such trips outweigh demerits by supplying people with new opportunities to improve their lives.
In
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
’s world, it is not uncommon that more and more passengers
are obliged
to travel
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
long
haul distances either for education or for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
daily. While
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are concerned
about this trend as it is
desperately
time and energy consuming, others, myself included, believe that such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trips
are of great value to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
as providing them with new opportunities.

On the one hand, it
is argued
that devastating consequences might occur to those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who
are forced
to commute
ceaselessly
for the purposes of study or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
. In fact, the root reason for this allegation is that these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
long
journeys waste
simultaneously
a great deal of time and energy. Under this circumstance, it is
highly
likely that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are
gradually
suffering from boredom and fatigue, leading to become reluctant to pursue their objectives which plays a pivotal role in their future development.
For instance
, it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
as no surprise that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
students drop out of their universities, or
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
employees resign their positions
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it is
virtually
impossible to tolerate these kinds of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trips
frequently
,
Consequently
, there is a possibility that these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
face numerous dilemmas after making such decisions.

On the other hand
, I am of the opinion that although
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
long
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trips
consume
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
time and energy,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
would reap manifold benefits. In fact, what
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
long
distance travel does is to give
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
new chances in both education and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
.
For example
, a job seeker who becomes frustrated to
be recruited
in their hometown is probable to find a lucrative job in a suburb. Another illustration of this might be that a student is able to apply for a particular subject offered in a university in the country. In both two cases,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can fulfil their ambitions as they assure that by relying on modern transport, these remote areas become accessible.
As a result
, personal development is not far-fetched,
even though
physical barriers exist.

In conclusion
, in recent years, a matter of debate is whether it is beneficial for folks to commute daily for the aim of study or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
or not.
However
, I concur with those tend to believe that the merits of such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trips
outweigh demerits by supplying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
with new opportunities to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
.
8.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8.5Mistakes
A foreign language is like a frail, delicate muscle. If you do not use it, it weakens.
Jhumpa Lahiri

IELTS essay Nowadays, longer distances are traveled by people to work and study on a daily basis. Some considered it to be a negative development. While others disagree. v. 3

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
374 words
8.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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